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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/873362
Rated: E · Book · Comedy · #2074957
A young, psychotic republican goes to a treatment program, and meets psychotic democrats.
#873362 added February 15, 2016 at 4:05pm
Restrictions: None
Paintball
On December 19th, 2011, Winfield Reese took, Adam, Joe, Kellen and I to go play paintball. After the final game, everyone was done, except for Winfield and I. The two of us joined a team of 10, where we were facing another team of 10.
Upon commencement of the game, I ran to the top of a fortress, horrified to notice that below the fortress, were 6 members of the opposing team. Before they saw me, I shot one of the guys, getting him out; but then the other 5 surrounded me, and began shooting. The 5 members of the opposing team found an open spot on the other side, which I used as cover. Upon seeing them, while crouched beneath the wall, I fired my gun at them. As soon as I fired my gun, I was immediately shot in the stomach; again in the arm; again in the right shoulder; again on the butt; again on the left palm; again in the neck; again on the nipple; again in the ribs; again on the head; again on his pinky; again in the torso; again in the armpit; again in the thigh; again on the right wrist; and finally, on the left shoulder. Within 5 seconds of the first time I was shot, I had my arms in the air. Upon leaving the field, the five members of the opposing team all congratulated me. I, who had been lacerated on the nipple, right shoulder, and thigh – and the laceration on the right shoulder would leave a permanent mark – returned to the Great Ascendency, and, upon arrival, asked Winfield for the first-aid kit.
Though I was aching, I actually felt good having put up a good fight. Despite the fact that I didn’t mind being a brat, there was still a part of me that didn’t want to be a pussy; and I felt that ever since I was a teenager, and I felt that paintball was the best way to overcome the adversity.
Upon bandaging myself up, Winfield asked to speak with me:
“Harry, I’m impressed. I have never met any non-military veteran who had the balls to do what you did.”
“Thanks!”
“What I want to ask you is why do you pull the s*** you do, when you get can positive attention by doing the things you did today?
“Well, no one ever notices me when I anticipate in positive behaviors.”
“If you never partook in anti-social behaviors, people would always notice the good things you did.”
“I don’t know! It is just that from the longest period of time, people shunned me, and I don’t get it.”
“Do you remember when you became a jerk?”
“I don’t remember not being one.”
“DO you remember when this all started?”
“It was so long ago that I just don’t remember. I don’t even know what came first: the hatred or the behaviors.”
“Well, try behaving yourself for one month, and then you will see a difference in how people treat you.”
“I will until I get pissed off.”
© Copyright 2016 Cory Snyder (UN: coolboy007 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/873362