Everyday Canvas

How to Say What We Say

Prompt: What is more important what you say or how you say it?

======================

They are both important, but how you say it enhances what you say. The down part in this is that how you say anything does not count in a court of law as it is considered conjecture.

In my experience, with the exception of job interviews and interpersonal relationships, how you say it is secondary in Western civilization. In other different cultures, however, how you say it will either exonerate a person or lead to his execution. This, I believe, came about from the times of the earliest human existence, long before our species developed language skills, when we used nonverbal clues, gestures, and intonation, in our communications.

In most of our communication processes, however, how we say it will connect us better to our fellow humans. How we say anything with words, gestures, eye contact, and body language will matter. Our facial expressions and voice tone, inflection, and volume must match what we say, think, or feel, as well.

Not only how we say anything but also how we listen carries some weight. A person who seems to listen to our words with a blank look while he or she slouches, jiggles a leg, or worse yet, checks her cellphone, or furtively texts has to be showing signs of boredom. Most interview candidates are advised to display a listening posture to their interviewer by sitting up straight, leaning slightly forward, making eye contact, and nodding. They are also told to be wary of their nervous habits such as hair twirling, pen tapping, or doing any other thing that would make the person opposite them uncomfortable.

In short, what we say has to be accompanied with how we say it if we wish to leave a positive impact on others, but also we must mind what we say, our exact words, in case, our words might be needed to become admissible in a court of law.