Everyday Canvas

Interview

Prompt: Funny hat, crazy shoes, weird handbag, dazzling hair - I'm so ready for this interview but are you?


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Jordan Whippet with the funny Adolf-Hitler mustache was standing on the eleventh-floor ledge, threatening to jump, when I walked in for the interview. Hamilton Rogers walked in the room, zipping up his pants. Was he just out of the men's room or was he doing Ginny, the secretary, again, I couldn’t tell.

Hamilton yelled at Jordan. “Jordan, cut the shit out. We have that interviewee, here again!”

“That’s why I want to jump,” Jordan sobbed. “I am mad as hell, and I can’t take it, anymore!”

“All right! All right! I’ll take her today,” Hamilton yelled again, and then he muttered softly, “The guy’s off his rocker, again.”

“Whee!” Jordan stepped back into the room, disappearing through the side door. I guessed he gave up on killing himself.

“It isn’t my hat, this time, Mr.Rogers,” I said, turning to Hamilton. “I didn’t wear the replica of the Carmen-Miranda hat. This little number has only a couple of birds on it: a jay and a pelican, which are also on my shoes. The right shoe has the pelican and the left the jay. My bag, too, with the furry look has the same birds on it. I like to match my accessories.”

Hamilton averted his eyes from my hat to my shoes with the pointy tips and the birds. Then, he looked at me as if I were a boil on his backside, but he regained his composure again and pointed to a chair.

“Please, Miss Doosie, make yourself comfortable,” he said politely, marching around me to the desk and sitting down with a solid thud. “Which job are you applying for in our company again, today?”

“I am open to suggestions,” I said. “Although I’d love to work in the fashion department.”

He took a sharp intake of air and was silent for a minute or two, but he answered me, still politely. “You know that didn’t work out well the last time.”

I pouted and shook my head, knowing he wouldn’t be able to help himself and I was right. He took out his smart phone and pointed it at me. Was he taking my picture, again?

By this time, the hat had slipped in front of my eyes, due to the shaking of my head, and the birds hung in the air with their tiny beaks toward my nose. I gingerly took off the hat and placed it on the desk in front of Hamilton. Then I shook my head right and left to let my dazzling red hair with the golden sparkles fall in place.

“Perfect, Miss Doosie!” Hamilton exclaimed. “I’ll see what our advertisers can do with this video. They said funny ads attract more customers. About your job request, I am sorry to deny it, but you will be paid handsomely for the use of this video; I am very sure of that. Now, is there anything else I can help you with?”

I nodded, picked up my hat, and walked out.

The money was very good, but I so hate smartphones!