Everyday Canvas

What We Really Want

Prompt: “We can never know what to want,” said Milan Kundera. What do you think he meant?

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This seems to be a statement about human nature as to what constitutes our happiness. We humans want one thing, and when we get it, that thing loses its value. Our wants are endless and they come one after the other, sometimes stepping on or jumping over one another; but why?

I think, it is because we want to live, whether we like it or not, and as long as we are here, we want to make life meaningful for us. For that end, some of us think we want love, others security and comfort, others power, others pleasure, and still others fame. Our happiness usually depends on what we want at the moment that we want it.

Yet, it might be true that “we can never know what to want” with so many different options and combinations. If what we want covers so many different grounds, aside from getting our basic needs met, how would we know what we really need for our true happiness?

The way I look at it, the goal of life is growth according to the conditions of human existence for the satisfaction of what we have in our potentialities, but this growth can only happen with freedom, internal and external. Freedom from outside sources enables us to pursue the fulfilling of the potential inside each one of us. Freedom from inside can be more difficult, however.

Overcoming the internal forces such as hate, greed, egoism, narcissism, and illusions that make us ill-fated is the first step in this direction. Of all these, egoism and narcissism come in many guises, and they are the main forces that confuse us as to what we want. Then, in addition, the attainment of love, compassion, and unselfish service to others will more likely lead us toward our internal freedom.

In plain words, an unliberated person who always misses on what he wants will think, I am what I have or own. A truly free person who can pinpoint what he wants will think, I am what I am and what I do. Yet, this kind of freedom is rarely attained, and most of the time, the human nature, being what it is, is never satisfied even if all that a person wants is accomplished.