Can We Talk 2

Kids and "Grown Up" TV

         We were watching a Sally Field movie Sunday, which seemed innocent enough. Suddenly the family man who had just been praying over a meal was shot by accident and fell to the ground. We had a four year old in the room who had not been watching TV, but who saw that. He was riveted. We thought the rest was going to be about the grieving and he soon would get bored. His dad tried to interest him in other things to no avail. Then more violence happened, not actually on the screen, but we knew when a car pulled up, and the camera suddenly flashed to a man tied up on the ground behind it, another terrible thing had happened. We changed the channel.

         But the questions didn't stop. This kid asks a thousand questions a day. His parents are over-protective, but he's pretty smart and tenacious. His dad started gathering their things to go. His uncle just sat not knowing what to say. My father is almost deaf and didn't know what was going on. It fell to me to try to smooth things over. I talked about TV being make-believe, not real. The actors are paid a lot of money to pretend silly things. It was easier than explaining that there are sick and hate-filled people in the world. I'll follow up the next time I see him. We'll play pretend something without violence, so that he gets the idea.

         It may take some of the fun out of cartoons and other kid TV shows. It sometimes takes the fun out of it for adults. Scary movies aren't so scary. You realize that even in music videos, some of the stunts are done by the subs, not the stars. But the idea here is that you can't always protect kids from what they see on TV or the Internet. They need to know the difference between what's real and what's fake, so that they aren't scared or confused. And when they do see some at a friend's house or by mistake, you talk to them to reassure them they are safe, and to reiterate that they don't imitate the behavior they've witnessed.