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wasted

Wasted is hardly the word for it. I am sitting here for God however it turns out and it may not turn out well.

Today was a humbling day. Everything seemed to go wrong. I have only myself to blame.

I show up early into a mess. I have been asked to please help. The house is a mess and I work hard to make order out of chaos. But be clear I am not God.
I find myself in a conflict with a resident who eventually puts me in my place. She will not go to sleep despite my pleadings. I apologise feeling the fool. I fill out a caretracker others failed to fill out. I am accused of falsifying documentation even though I ask another female staff for feedback. After all men Can Not take care of women. That is the agency rule. I am feeling a fool again.

I take care of the men. One of the women criticize my care. Why am I even there? Thanks. I am a fool again. As a man I can not even care for men properly.
I try to feed a female it does not go well.
Like so much trash throw it away. What a waste!