Everyday Canvas

The Need to Need Space

Prompt: What does a person mean when they say they need space?

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It means just that. It doesn’t mean that the other person or persons this is told to have done anything wrong.

If the other people are so used to amassing attention to a person, no wonder, they can feel bad. They should, however, figure out why they are crowding and overpowering the person who is needing his or her space.

Needing one’s space is the opposite of saying, “I need attention and support, today.” This is because a bit of aloneness or separation is needed for personal growth. Nothing is wrong with letting someone know when one needs his or her space while he or she works on himself or herself.

Understanding one’s reasons for needing space and respecting their request is essential in any kind of a relationship. The questions to ask oneself if one is at the receiving end could be, “Does it relate to me? Is the other person need time for his or her work? Is something difficult going on in their personal life, which they are not yet ready to disclose?”

The words that signal the need for space, however, are difficult on the person or people receiving them because they are used to sacrificing their time and pieces of themselves to spoil or support the person who now says he or she needs time alone. Yet, when a person says they need space, people have to figure out if that person wants a short-term aloneness or not too much attention. Even, Greta Garbo said, “I want to be left alone.” Later on, she corrected her words not to leave any misunderstanding. She said she didn’t mean she wanted to be totally alone, but she wanted to not be the center of attention as much.

A request for space doesn’t always mean the other person wants the relationship to end. He or she just wants some breathing space and maybe some time alone.

Speaking for me, I need some space to write, to read, and to enjoy my aloneness, but I usually make my meaning clear, so the others don’t feel bad.