Le Voyage Magnifique

ROOMMATE WANTED:

Yo, bro, listen up. We need a roommate over here to help with expenses.

Schizophrenic dingbats and undercover agents need not apply.

Please pay no heed to those rumors of my recent incarceration, as they are highly overblown. Just ask my parole officer. He will happily attest to my complete rehabilitation. He'd better, because we are paying him dearly to cover my butt, which is the reason we need assistance paying the bills. If accepted, you will be responsible for paying the rent, the water bill, the electric bill, the groceries, any debts to my bookie, and all other expenses.

In return, you will be welcome to share Granny's weekly batch of brownies made with special ingredients grown in our greenhouse out back. If you stay in Uncle Jed's good graces by helping him deliver to his customers, I am sure that he will allot a gallon or two of his famous corn likker for your troubles.

To respond, leave your name and phone number at the newspaper office. When we have screened your background to ensure there are no law enforcement connections, we will contact you with a secret password for entry to our euphoric world of constant pleasure.