The Bologna Blog

Nuts

Nuts!

Never would I expect someone who hasn't worked nights to understand the dilemma of daytime sleeping. It is an experience that requires stamina and resolve. There are always the false starts of sleep. This constitutes climbing into bed and to begin your descent into slumber only to remember that there was some odd detail forgotten, such as having to take the dog outside or having left the iron plugged. A myriad of reasons exists that would cause you to stumble from a warm, cozy bed just fifteen minutes after your body made it warm and cozy.

There are the normal daytime interruptions to sleep. These include phone calls and doorbells. Take the phone off the hook, you say? As a mother, I have found that multiple emergencies occur that your child and the school feel should be handled between the hours of eight and three. The understanding is that they should be able to reach me at all hours. As for the doorbell issue, this stems from the over-eager FedEx driver delivering a package. Somewhere in their training, they were taught to ring the bell no less than ten times. It is to make the occupant aware that Aunt Betty has blessed your life with crocheted mittens. Those mittens now reside on your doorstep and have a lovely day. In the midst of sleep, however, it is very easy to convince yourself that the doorbell ringing that many times means someone is trying to alert to the house being on fire. The previously mentioned fire is obviously due to your lack of unplugging the iron.

The next item that may cause a lack of sleep is the man who likes to mow his grass at nine in the morning. It is definitely within his rights to mow at this time of the day. His yard shines as a beacon of light for all the neighbors to envy. This neighbor has managed to create his paradise with a garden of Zen and haven of lush greenery upon which to boast. Come rain or shine, he maintains an every other day lawn maintenance schedule. Did I mention that he is also a builder? He likes to saw and chop and grind and hammer on the other days of the week. Earplugs are my salvation at times!

The list other things that might cause you to drag yourself to that nightshift job all bleary eyed and tired continues. There is insomnia for which there is no cure. You are forced to just let your mind wander willy-nilly until it too reaches the exhaustion stage. This little item causes trouble for both day and night time sleepers.

Another foe of a daytime sleeper is sunshine. All bright and glowing the yellow burst of warmth calls to you. Slithering past the blinds and through the curtains, the fireball knows your name. It rekindles the romance of all the times that you have embraced its beauty. It reminds that you are missing a gorgeous day in the sunlight. It serves to remind you that on your next scheduled day off they are forecasting for thunderstorms and hurricanes.

The next item on my list is actually just part of life. I like to call it the personal bladder alarm clock. A siren low in the abdomen sounds emitting an urgent frequency. It will wake you from the deepest of sleep. You must deal with consequences immediately. The probability that you can return to sleep after catering to the need becomes almost as unlikely as winning the lottery. The upside to this means knowing that my potty training many years prior was efficient.

Today's events put a whole new spin on sleep deprivation. My lists of excuses for being tired before I start my shift are many. In all the realms of possible reasons, I did not think this would be viable or believable. Please read the poem below for clarity.

He came today and wanted to play.
Out on the window's ledge did he stay
He knocked and tapped upon the glass
To the tree and back his repeated dash
He slammed his body into the window frame
Or onto the branch from which he came
Pressing against the window was his tiny face
Almost as if he was trying to case the place
Loudly he chewed his lunch on the ledge
Causing me to utter a dirty pledge
For knowledge of my presence, he seemed unaware
Or maybe the filthy beast just didn't care
I managed not to break the window pane
When I screamed and threw things at him in vain
Ever and always, I am a sleepless putz
But this squirrel is driving me absolutely nuts
To my boss, I must confess
Tonight I am tired and might be useless

In case you didn't catch the meaning behind the poem, a squirrel visited me today. This now becomes reason number 1,079 for why I did not get to sleep today.

© Copyright 2017 L.A. Grawitch (lgrawitch at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.