Can We Talk 2

Accumulating Material Things

         We accumulate things without even realizing we're doing it. Every month magazines feature articles on "organizing" or de-cluttering. Classes are offered on it. TV shows show professionals going into someone's garage or closet and refining it. The same magazines and TV channels encourage us to buy more stuff. Then there's all the organizing equipment we buy to store our stuff. How does that work out? I have accumulated lidded boxes, baskets, over the door hooks, garment bags, and shoe racks that are crowding me out.

         Recently I threw away a shoe rack (it folded flat) that I haven't used in 10 years. It just didn't fit, and it wasn't convenient. I've been trying to condense baskets and boxes as I throw things away and make donations, but there are just too many left to be of service. I keep envisioning someone having to go through my house if I die or develop dementia (no one has in my family so far, but I could be the first). The thought is motivational. I know how it was when my younger brother died, and grandparents, and so forth. Others can be pretty crucial, even if they are worse pack rats themselves.

         My uncle's wife once told me she cleaned house as though she were going to die tonight, and her husband was going to have another woman in the house tomorrow. She applied that to the drawers, the closets, and the refrigerator. Her whole house was like one in a magazine. It's kind of a fatal attitude, but it worked in her home. I, on the other hand, have molds and supplies for making my own candles. I haven't made candles in over 30 years. You'd think I could pass them along. There aren't too many earth mother types around who might like to try making candles that still drip and make messes. You either have to be an artist or an aging hippie.

         I was the child of people who were raised in the Great Depression and the recovery. They didn't throw anything away. Like my grandparents, they cut the buttons off old clothes to reuse. I have jars of buttons (but I just learned a way to reuse them in crafts, so they're nor going anywhere). I still embroider, crochet and sew, so I want to keep all those supplies, even if I don't use all of them every week. I'm learning to get rid of clothes and jewelry that I haven't used in a while; it's not likely that I'll use them again some day. When Dad isn't looking, I'm beginning to throw away old parts. he can't even remember what they came from but he's convinced as soon as he throws one away, he'll need it. Then there's the miscellaneous screws, picture hangers, tape, batteries strewn all around the house.

         I did put all his flashlights in one container, except for the one by his bed, and one downstairs. I gathered up all the batteries in the house and put in one container. He seems to like that idea and is willing to play along for now. He likes to have everything conveniently placed, so he doesn't have to look. That's why there are numerous pencil jars in almost every room, as well as scissors, tools, and reading glasses. I've been trying for years to keep the refrigerator organized: dressings all in one place, vegetables only in one drawer, fruit in another, meat and cheese in another. He won't go along with that, so I have to rearrange every day and clean it as I go.

         Letting go emotionally is difficult. I long ago realized the fear of the future was making me hold onto things. I might be impoverished and need it! Now there's sentimental value to things: it belonged to my brother or my mother or my late uncle gave it to Mom or my husband liked it. I can't do mass changes. I have to go through them item by item and determine if there is any value in keeping it. It doesn't really matter how much it cost 25 years ago, or how much of a sacrifice it was at that time to obtain it. I don't need to fear what might happen if I become homeless or get sick; I'll make do. I am a survivor. I am not destitute. Nothing I have will make a difference in history. Some things are worth keeping in the clutter; some are not.

         There's a lot to be said for an organized and peaceful life. Orderly surroundings, uncluttered and stress free, can contribute to that. Once I cull through everything and live with it for a while, I'll have to go through it all a second time, and cull out some more. The garage and the shed are my Dad's territory. I'm going to have to do those, too!