The Bologna Blog

Wife or Nurse?

Nursing a spouse back to health after surgery is way different than actually being a nurse. Over and above the obvious, such as less patience with a loved one and being allowed to yell at them when they attempt to do something stupid, there are many more negatives. Number one is that no one is paying me for the incredibly arduous task.No money changed hands making it hard to endure the hard to please patient of mine. Next, if someone were to give my hubby a call bell, I might have to chop his arm off for his overuse of said item. As it is, I listen to the moaning, mumbling, and call of honey's and dear's morning noon, and night. I am even cheated out of my shift differential. I have known for my 29 years of married life that my husband is an energized hard to hold down fool. I accepted that fact long ago. but add to that character trait an anal and picky quality of a computer nerd, and life becomes quite tense. A man who is amazing with numbers and programming cannot seem to remember what time he took a pain pill or which kind, so I chart on a makeshift medical record for home use. The ice machine he is supposed to use for therapy is consistently out of ice. He can never decide if he should lay down or sit up. I have to remind him to eat before taking pain pills or we will suffer greatly at a later time. Just after coming home from surgery, he decides to take our 80-pound beast out in the yard to do his business. Did I mention he had rotator cuff and tendon rebuilds in one arm? One pull from the dog in the wrong direction would tear his arm apart. However, he tells me this arm hurts a lot more than the last one they did. All I can do is roll my eyes and mumble beneath my breath. He tells me the doctor said he could drive to work on Monday and then he adds as long as I'm not still needing pain medicine. He is not allowed to move the arm at all and is to remain immobile from the shoulder down but he plans on returning to work. I said, "Well I guess I'll see you back here on Tuesday." I freely admit to being a snarky nurse at times with my new patient. Truthfully, I would rather be nowhere else in the world than standing here taking care of this man. He's actually a pretty good guy!