The Bologna Blog

Test Car Dummy

An old man professes his love to a girl half his age.

" Listen up Shavone. You are my kind of gal."

"Lester you are nice and all, but you're just not the model for me."

"Lady, I am a classic. My joints might creak, but I am priceless."

"If that means that you are an old fart, Okay."

"I may be older and wiser. It just means that I am better tested. I have survived everything they threw at me. I persevered while other replicas have been crushed."

"Yes, the body damage is evident! "

"Baby, you may be sleek and sexy, but I endure. You know it's true I love your style. You have that shiny gloss and springy look about you, but I am sturdy and strong."

"Lester, they call that old-school style. You are just an old counterfeit of a newer model."

"You are causing collateral damage to my heart by your comments, girl. Remember, I withstood the test of time. I outlived those bogus models that you have your eyes on, sweetie."

"Lester, I have to tell you, those younger guys are my kind of eye candy. All of that alloy and metal hardware they sport turns my head. It just electrifies me."

"But, woman you will love my wood. It is smooth and splinter-free. It gets polished on a regular basis."


"But how much damage has it seen, Lester? I want to be nice, but your wood is kind of dented."

"Those dents, my love, are proof that I outlasted those fakes that turn your head. I pulled through the crash of life so many times. My dings and dents are badges of honor, baby."

"Lester I think you are just a dummy, like all the rest."
An old man professes his love to a girl half his age.

" Listen up Shavone. You are my kind of gal."

"Lester you are nice and all, but you're just not the model for me."

"Lady, I am a classic. My joints might creak, but I am priceless."

"If that means that you are an old fart, Okay."

"I may be older and wiser. It just means that I am better tested. I have survived everything they threw at me. I persevered while other replicas have been crushed."

"Yes, the body damage is evident! "

"Baby, you may be sleek and sexy, but I endure. You know it's true I love your style. You have that shiny gloss and springy look about you, but I am sturdy and strong."

"Lester, they call that old-school style. You are just an old counterfeit of a newer model."

"You are causing collateral damage to my heart by your comments, girl. Remember, I withstood the test of time. I outlived those bogus models that you have your eyes on, sweetie."

"Lester, I have to tell you, those younger guys are my kind of eye candy. All of that alloy and metal hardware they sport turns my head. It just electrifies me."

"But, woman you will love my wood. It is smooth and splinter-free. It gets polished on a regular basis."


"But how much damage has it seen, Lester? I want to be nice, but your wood is kind of dented."

"Those dents, my love, are proof that I outlasted those fakes that turn your head. I pulled through the crash of life so many times. My dings and dents are badges of honor, baby."

"Lester I think you are just a dummy, like all the rest."


"I just want to sing the blues *Music1* *Music2* *Music1*
With this kind of news
Girl, I certainly love you
You have to know it's true
I may just be a manikin
an old wooden skeleton
You're making me feel crummy
By calling me just a dummy
I'm setting the record straight, girl
I'm a one of a kind time-tested pearl
Very proud of my lifelong career
This old fart never shows any fear
A first generation classic diagnostic tool
Never a dummy and never a fool
You can call me old school
If you just have to be cruel
I am a car crash aficionado
Built from wood, a long time ago
Been Battered and crushed
But I will not be hushed
Been thrown about like a mummy
An official auto crash dummy
Car companies think I'm keen
I keep showing up at the scene
Shavone if you stick around
I won't let them melt you down"


"Lester, I sure don't want to end up in the fire pit like the other metal dummies. There is certainly something to be said for wood. Let's go give it a test, you dummy. "




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