Complex Numbers

Love's Lessons Learned

Everything I needed to learn about love, I learned in kindergarten.

I suppose it would be more accurate to say that everything I should have learned about love.

See, there was this girl, Connie. At recess (or whatever they called it in kindergarten) I'd sit on a bench because I didn't know what else to do. Connie would come over, sit next to me and hold my hand.

It was nice.

This went on for, I don't know, days? Weeks?

And then, one day, I saw Connie sitting on the bench with Troy, holding hands.

Reflecting back on this now, as a grown-ass adult, I see a pattern that changed only in the details.

You know how some (most?) guys, they'll meet someone, and their minds immediately skip ahead to the part where they're boning? I don't mean in kindergarten, you pervert; I mean as an adult. Anyway, me, my mind skips ahead to the part where she ends up on the bench holding hands with some other guy.

And so I don't date anymore. What's the point? It's only going to end badly.