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BCOF 2230: Gratitude Times Five

Write a gratitude list, at least five items, of things you are thankful for in this year.

This is so hard for me because this year has been so incredibly hard. In order to understand you'd have to read

BOOK

Loving Libby  (18+) A blog dedicated to my daughter, Libby, as she battles not to lose her mind. #2177657 by Charity Marie - <3

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We've struggled so much this year. I have witnessed as my husband/life partner/best friend/my rock was brought low by unexpected disability and non-epileptic seizures. Those are seizures caused by your nervous system instead of the electrical impulses in the brain. They're just as awful, except you're awake through them. I'm now depended on by three disabled individuals and that is scary as... well, I don't really have a word for how terrifying it is. Let's just say I have a lot more gray hair than I once did.

Anyway, gratitude...

1) I'm grateful this year is almost over and we've survived it, intact, as a family. There were multiple times this year, for the first time ever in almost five years, where we thought we would be better off apart. But somehow, my husband and I overcame it, forgave each other, and forged forward, together again. I'm not sure how we did it, other than maybe all the memories of how good we are together. And how much we love each other. But the stress, trauma, and grief of this year almost broke us. Almost but not quite. I have hope and optimism for next year, and that things might start improving as soon as the holidays are over. It's hard to imagine they could get too much worse. I literally saved his life three times this year, one of which was from himself.

2) I'm grateful for inner strength. I couldn't have gotten through this year without it. Sheer determination is all that has kept this family going and I have been driving that ship forward as hard and as fast as I can. I'm determined we will not fail, we will overcome all that's before us. Somehow, someway, we'll find a way through all of these issues.

3) I'm grateful for the medical staff who have treated our family this year. Every single one of us, even I, have had issues. Of the four of us, my daughter and I are the physically healthiest. But I had to rush to the ER earlier this year for copious amounts of blood in my urine, that turned out to be a horrible UTI. My daughter spent 120 days in residential treatment. My son spent about 40, my husband spent about 14 days inpatient. I've spent two and I half months in counseling to deal with it all. The process was grueling but through it, we were able to find help, and get some resolutions.

I'm particularly grateful for the staff who treated my daughter in residential for her severe mental illness and helped her make such great progress. And I was able to get some pain management treatment for my nerve issues from a car accident three and a half years ago. The recovery has been hard, but I believe it will be worth it, even if for a short while I can function better and with less pain. I need that for what faces us.

4) I am grateful for the help, support, and encouragement of friends around the world. For the first time in my life, I'm sharing our struggles as we battle against severe mental illness. That encouragement has led to me getting a four-book series published (in spring 2019) and having the courage to not only truly open up a vein and bleed for my writing but also something I believe in. It's my hope these books can, in some small way, help to change the world and the way people look at mental illness. Maybe then we can start to change it for the better. My daughter and all the sons and daughters around the world need that to happen.

5) I'm grateful for WDC, which has welcomed me back with open arms late this year. I've returned to this amazing safe haven after having experienced so much in the last ten years. This place holds such amazing special memories for me. I have lots to share and am still seeking to learn all I can. I have a long list of people to thank but especially:

Max Griffin 🏳️‍🌈 for his amazing help with my work, his friendship, and reminding me of the true meaning of "show don't tell" through his guided dream reminders. We instantly became friends upon my return and I'm so lucky to have stumbled upon him.

GabriellaR45 for her kind encouragement and welcoming me back as a proud Rising Star.

bobturn for his consistent encouragement on my blog and devoted reading and commenting on my posts.

There's a ton more but not really room to list them all. Hopefully, you know who you are! If you're reading this, you count!

Bonus: I'm also grateful for winning the Writer's Cramp contest for the first time on 12/25/2018. Check it out here:

STATIC

A Christmas Proposal  (E) Rudolph tries to steal the show. (Winner: 12/25/2018 Writer's Cramp) #2178175 by Charity Marie - <3

Bonus Two: I am also grateful for this post earning me Blogger of the Week with BCOF. See the list here:

BOOK

BCOF Beta Book  (E) A book that contains all items relating to the new-look BCOF - Coming Spring 2014 #1969845 by Prosperous Snow celebrating

I you guys more than you'll ever know!



Charity Marie
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