Complex Numbers

Schadenfreude

Write about something happy in your life! What’s happened recently that made you smile? What’s the last thing you laughed at?

Life is darkness bleak, a swirling void of colorless numbness spiraling into the eternal event horizon of...

Okay, okay, enough with the angsta rap.

Still, you may have noticed that I'm not one to focus on happiness.

It seems important to many people, though. I don't know if it's just an American thing, since it's right there in our Declaration of Independence along with a lot of rants about King George III. That line - the "pursuit of happiness" - makes it seem like happiness is something to work toward, instead of what it is, which is a state of mind that emerges from other things.

What other things? Well, it depends on the individual, I suppose; that's the whole point. I'm anticipating a lot of "my kids of course!" answers, and if that works for you, great. For me, every time I see some whiny brat in public - provided that I have the option of walking away - I grin like a little bitch because I don't have to deal with that crap.

So, there's something that makes me happy.

Other peoples' misfortune makes me euphoric, as well. Not if it's undeserved, though. I'm never happy to hear that someone's been dealt a crappy hand through no fault of their own. But when I see some skaterat rack himself on a metal handrail, well, endorphins course right through my body and my sense of righteous retribution is satisfied.

There was a story a few days ago about some so-called "Instagram Influencer" (I looked it up and was grumpy for several hours straight because something like that exists) who was trying to take a selfie at the rim of the Grand Canyon and... well, you can guess what happened.

As one wag noted in a comment about that selfie that had me laughing for about a week, "Started out in portrait, ended up in landscape."

Lots of things make me laugh, but that one stands out in recent memory.

Yeah, I realize this makes me a terrible person, but I figured out a long time ago that I'm less angry when I embrace that than when I try to gin up sympathy in myself where none actually exists. But like I said, it has to be an example of karmic justice; someone falling off a cliff when they were just trying to enjoy a nice hike in the outdoors - even though that's something I wouldn't do, myself - is sad. Someone falling off a cliff while being a thrill-seeking attention whore? You're damn right I'm going to laugh.

In the immortal words of Mel Brooks, "Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die."

I had a job interview with a civil engineering firm many years ago when asking off-the-wall questions was just starting to come into vogue. So, in addition to the standard "What are your salary requirements?" and "What makes this company a good fit for you?" questions, one of the interviewers smiled and asked, "What brings you joy?"

Well, I couldn't exactly answer "schadenfreude" there, so I made up some half-true crap about the satisfaction of seeing my designs come to life and be taken for granted by the general public.

I didn't get the job. I guess I should have answered, "Sewers."