The Book of Masks (Vol. 2)

The Choice for a Cho

Previously: "When Second Thoughts Come Too Late" 

You're just coming down the hall from using the toilet—which was as surprisingly clean as the rest of the Matthias's trailer—when the front door is yanked open and Lindsay comes in.

Your first, very uncharitable thought, is that she looks like a pissed-off troll.

Your second impression isn't much better.

Her face is set in a hard, truculent glower under a comically over-large trucker hat, and her shoulders are hunched up about her ears. Her lips are parted in a soft frown. Her dark eyes dart about, and what little light is in them dies when they settle on you. Caleb, following her in, stumbles into her, and she shoots him a dirty look over her shoulder.

"Hey," you greet her. "Thanks for coming."

She bites her lower lip, and you see it in her eyes: She's about to say fuck you. But she thinks better of it, and only shrugs.

"Your friend says you're gonna be moving in here," she sneers as she casts another dark gaze about the living room. "You been cleaning up, getting it ready?"

"Yeah, the plan's something like that." You're tempted to shut her down now with a mask. But you hold back. Maybe you're thinking she should have her say first? "I know you want us to put everything back to normal—"

"You got Evie back. That's all that matters to me." She squirms on her feet. "Whatever your other problems are, they're not mine."

You blink. "But you said last night—"

"Look, you got Evie back," she repeats with a glare. "I think you should put everything back. What you did was evil. That book is evil."

Then she looks away. "But Evie and Paulina are all, like, don't push it. So just, you know, do whatever the fuck you want." She licks her lips. "And if it means turning yourself into a pothead, well, I think you deserve it."

But you barely hear her words over the rushing blood in your ears. Evie was taking your side? Sort of? Paulina too? Your knees start to tremble.

"Will?" Caleb says, and you realize you've been staring at Lindsay with your mouth hanging open.

"Oh!" you grunt. "Yeah. Um, well, thanks. I guess." You scratch under the bill of your cap. "There's one more thing, though."

For a brief moment you are wildly tempted to give up on your plan, and to surrender everything to Lindsay, and to return to your own life.

But the temptation dies the moment your fingertips touch the mask hidden inside the paper bag at your elbow.

"Yeah, we had a few extra things lying around, from before? Caleb and me?" you say as you take it out. "Uh, we heard that Bhodi gave you the book back. We figure you'd want to get rid of everything else, too."

Lindsay's expression tightens as you advance on her. But she hasn't time to even raise her hands before you smush the mask into her face. For one moment she hangs in place.

Then her legs buckle. Caleb yells "Watch out!" and you and he grab her as she falls, and are dragged down to the floor with her in a heap.

"Jesus!" Caleb exclaims as you disentangle yourselves from her. "You sure as fuck took long enough, man. I was starting to think you were chickening out."

You grunt. "Let's get her back in Dane's bedroom. You have any idea how long 'til Dane's mom gets back?"

"Not a clue. Oh, God!" His face crimsons as he tries lifting Lindsay by the wrists. "It's like trying to carry a sack of cement!"

So it is. Lindsay is small—the crown of her head doesn't come up much beyond your or Caleb's collarbone—and she's not fat. But lifting and carrying a deadweight is lot harder than it looks like in movies. Finally, though, you're able to slide her down the hallway and to lift and roll her onto Dane's bed. "Go on a diet or something," Caleb groans after falling breathlessly to the floor, "after you're her."

You ignore the jibe, and concentrate on disrobing Lindsay, so that her clothes won't get torn when you put Dane's mask on her. Her sockless, stubby feet are jammed inside black, worn-out Converse sneakers, and those are the first to be liberated. Then off come the jeans and—you grimace a little—the underthings, exposing her flabby, fleshy hips and thighs and a tangled bush. Then you and Caleb roll her over so you can peel off her denim jacket and a thin, powder-blue t-shirt. From behind, you unhook and unclasp her bra. It's tedious work, for you have to fight her lifeless limbs, and when you roll her back over again, the mask gets left behind on the bed-spread. "Brain band," you mutter at Caleb, and he reaches past you to slap the metal strip onto Lindsay's forehead, where it disappears.

You and Caleb then hunch on the edge of the bed, and study her. "It could be worse," you observe after a long silence.

"I guess," Caleb says. "I mean, fuck, you were playing that drug dealer for, what, a week?"

Yeah, I'm not doing this to have fun, you almost reply. But then, why are you doing it?

Right. You got into this mess to escape first Gordon Black and then Gary Chen. Now you're stealing Lindsay's identity in order to help out a bunch of dumb sophomore guys who are in it to have fun. Momentarily, your temper flares at the unfairness of it all.

But, dammit, you grudgingly admit to yourself, you actually do like Joe and Justin and Grant and them. They helped you out when they didn't have to, even after you'd done something really bad to their friends, first to Evie and then to Bhodi. And they're good enough that it seems like even Bhodi's forgiven you.

And has Evie? Your heart races, and you feel yourself flushing. You drove cross-country with her, but you barely talked, it seems like. You didn't know what to say to her, and she didn't seem like she wanted to talk to you. But Lindsay said—

Your reflections are interrupted by the sound of a door opening in the outer rooms. You and Caleb exchange frightened glances, and he dashes from the bedroom and pulls the door shut behind him.

You hold your breath and listen to him greet someone. Oh, it's Mrs. Matthias—you recognize her voice. You can't make out their words, though, until Caleb from the other side of the door says, "I'll check and see." The door opens, and he looks in. "Dane's mom," he mouths at you, and you nod. "You're changing into Dane. Come out when—" His eyes widen, and you look down to see that the brain band has reappeared on Lindsay's forehead. You snatch it up, and when you look up again, the door has shut.

You press another mask onto Lindsay's face, and scramble out of the way when Dane Matthias appears on the bed next to you.

* * * * *

At least he's up to speed on what's going on, for though he lacks Dane's memories and personality, he knows everything you've been thinking and planning up until an hour ago. "Jesus," he says as he pulls on some of Dane's old pajama bottoms, which you found under the bed. "Pretty fucking funny to think I got Lindsay's pussy in back of this thing." He grasps his package and squeezes it.

"Just remember, you're supposed to be Dane," you hiss at him.

He straightens up. "I thought we were gonna tell his mom that I'm, er, you."

"Right. But at school, I mean."

"And with Chen?" he asks. "Ah!" he grins mirthlessly as you blink at him. "Forgot about him, didn't you? Christ, I thought we were doing the whole identity-theft thing to get away from that psycho!"

"Look, if you want to go back to being Lindsay—"

"I'll put up with Chen first! But fuck." He pulls on a smelly t-shirt. "With Dane's cousin gone, what's Chen gonna be like? Oh!" He snaps his fingers at you. "And what am I supposed to do for money? Wasn't Dwayne, like, supporting them, basically?"

"Looks like you're gonna have to get a job. It'll go with your new haircut," you add as his face falls. "The new, more responsible Dane Matthias."

He cusses under his breath as you push him toward the door. "Now go say 'hi' to your new mom," you tell him, "while she still is your mom."

You hunch on the edge the bed after he's gone, listening to the voices. It's impossible to read the emotions inside the muffled words. On and on they drone, with Caleb joining them. Eventually you realize that no one is going to come back to talk to you, because no one is going to hint to Mrs. Matthias that there's another person in the trailer.

So you pick up the loose brain band that's lying on the bed. The name LINDSAY MARIE CHO floats in blue letters above it.

I can do this, you tell yourself.

But aren't you going to need help? The new "Dane" is going to need help, you suspect. You know that in his place (and it is a version of you in his place) you'd be panicked at being thrown into a doubly-new life, as Dane Matthias and as a Dane Matthias needing to change his lifestyle. Justin and Grant and them need managing, which you can't do from under Lindsay's identity. And you also are scaring yourself as you imagine yourself becoming Lindsay. It would be much nicer if you had someone nearby to confide in.

Only Caleb can help you with any of these. But not as "Caleb Johansson"; he would have to become someone else.

Thing is, he doesn't seem like he's eager to take on a new identity.

A silence descends in the outer rooms, which shocks you out of these worries. You notice again the brain band in your now-sweaty palm.

Best to get it over with, you tell yourself, and put it to your forehead.

Next: "Leaving as Lindsay" 

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"Table of Contents (Vol. 2)" 
"The Book of Masks (Vol. 2)"