Epigram ‘n Aphorism Samwiches

Teaching Bullies (and how not to be one)

If there's one thing I know a thing or two about, it's mind games. More specifically demoralization and humiliation of opponents.

When I was young, I was learning to play. I might have yelled unfair to the kids who dominated the games. You don't challenge the likes of them or you don't get to play. You might get labeled or bullied. They can get other friends to accost you, beat you up where parents don't see. They might utter vague or knowable profanities at you, spit on you. These small people feel justified, even hate. It's horrible what they got away with. Meanwhile, someone who could mature emotionally regresses, acts out. Unable to solve their condition, pay it forward. The difference: they feel regret. But, because none of the original tormentors offered an olive branch, tuck it all inside where it does further damage.

Children who were bullied and become bullies have no one to witness for them. They gladly take their punishment lifelong because they assume they deserve it. In fact, conditioned to it, are unaffected when the next sneering ego-maniac arrives. Must be confusing when I don't flinch.

When I play the game now, wherever that may be. I don't seek pity, empathy, sympathy -- not even an 'official' to intercede. The rules of these games are unknowable, misinterpreted, reinterpreted. And the bullies ... surprise ... have more friends. I can only control what I do by being the most beautiful version of myself. It's joyous. I can imagine there is only one who knows what I've been through and where I'm going.

I also enjoy celebrating the accomplishments of others, lifting them up wherever possible. I can relate experiences with others and realize who else was a troubled child. I can identify who still tries manipulate the game. I'm not trying to beat them at their little games with rules that benefit them and their friends. I already enjoy what I'm doing.

What must be defeating is seeing fewer people want to side with a bully when there is one who plays their game without dying. The one thing my dad was surprised by (hard man to appease) was I never gave up or quit something I loved. And when others see what is in my heart, they turn away from these bully friends. I wouldn't dream of diminishing the bully's ranks. I just want people to do what is right.

I am not evil. I am not out to hurt anyone. I'm ready with love. I'm willing to give...to something that wants to give back what I offer.

This might contradict past positions I've taken throughout life. It's been a learning process. I can change or alter these beliefs at any time...just like the bullies are entitled to do.


(Needs some editing, I know)