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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/981725-Sit-Back
Rated: 18+ · Book · Personal · #1196512
Not for the faint of art.
#981725 added April 22, 2020 at 12:01am
Restrictions: None
Sit Back
No.

https://www.outsideonline.com/2391763/stop-reclining-your-seat-airplanes

Stop Reclining Your Seat on Airplanes
You heard me. On cramped flights, the person who reclines their seat in front of me really chafes.


You know what really chafes? Complainers.

I love airline travel.

You're a monster.

The predictable flow of airports soothes me, and I get giddy during takeoff because I still don’t quite understand the science (read: magic) that keeps planes aloft.

And you're willfully ignorant.

Let me be clear: reclining is perfectly acceptable on flights longer than, say, four or five hours, especially if it’s an overnighter.

And who appointed you Arbiter?

So when we all pile into our clown car in the sky, we do so knowing that for whatever time we’re at cruising altitude, we’re going to sacrifice some personal space and our legs are going to fall asleep. Which is why my fellow economy-class members who recline their seats are the worst.

So don't fly.

Let’s get real. Those extra three degrees of slope on your reclined seat back aren’t going to make you more comfortable.

Yes. Yes, they are. And you're engaging in hyperbole.

Did they have a drink on their tray table? You didn’t think to check before you reclined onto their warm Diet Coke, did you? Were they working on their laptop? Now their screen is hunched forward at an angle that makes productivity impossible.

How about: Be aware that the person in front of you will recline their seat, and act accordingly. And for fuck's sake, if you need to spend every waking minute being "productive," you're the one with the problem.

The thing is, you know you suck when you hit that recline button, but just in case you truly are ignorant, hear this: your actions have direct consequences for the people around you—any space you take is taken from someone else.

Damn right. I have one magic button on my shitty airplane seat that makes me marginally less uncomfortable, and I am going to use it.

So if you want to lounge back and make life a little bit worse in an already untenable situation, I suggest you get rich, leave us common folk behind, and live it up in business class, which United is expanding while, you guessed it, shrinking economy.

Oh, I've done that. Not just business class, but first class. And believe me, nothing -- nothing -- gives me more pleasure than sitting in a wide, comfortable first-class seat, sipping my complimentary Bloody Mary, and watching people like you struggle past with disease-vector offspring and more stuff than will ever fit into an overhead compartment, let alone under the seat in front of you.

But when I do fly cattle-class, I always make sure to take off my shoes, fart silently, eat fragrant food, and, yes, recline my goddamned seat.

Want to make air travel more comfortable? Take it up with the airlines, and be willing to pay more for the privilege. You know, if there are still airlines after all this.

© Copyright 2020 Robert Waltz (UN: cathartes02 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Robert Waltz has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/books/entry_id/981725-Sit-Back