The Question Box

Do you have a favorite commercial?

I'm skeptical when I watch a commercial.
I think about Burt Lancaster's portrayal of the Rain Man.
"I can make it rain if you use my special rain medicine."
One of many flimflams Burt would play on "Frontier Folk."

Do you have an ailment?
Are you run down?
Do your bones ache?
I have here the elixir of life!
For only $5 you can be reinvigorated!

Did you know Coca~Cola used to have cocaine in it?
It has the coca leaf in it.
Coca~Cola was sold as an energy drink for elderly people.

There's a miracle cure on every channel.
There's a commercial about a miracle herb in the Bible.
After a 60-minute lecture on poor eating habits, the secret is revealed, it's olive oil.
I like to use olive oil when I'm frying chicken liver and onions.
And I'll wash it down with Coca~Cola.

Have you noticed how many old folks commercials there are on Fox News?
Most of the Fox News commentators are blond sexy young ladies.
They always have a key light pointed directly in their face.
How can they read the news with a 200 watt light in their face?
The commercial break will tell you how to attract irradiated blond babes.
Just take some pills!

Don't worry about the AC bill.
I'm talking about the airconditioning, not A.O.C.
Just take a pill!
It will lower your cholesterol and get your blood flowing to your pogo stick.
Then, take a bike ride on your electric motorized bike.
It looks like your exercising, but you're just coasting.

And forget your all-terrain cane.


Tootles!



Bob County