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A blog on how my days are going! Sometimes my life could be a TV show, people say... |
| You've got one guy living in the middle of nowhere in love with a girl in the middle of another nowhere...and all the space inbetween! It's the crazy story of my life, her life, and all the stuff that makes it crazy! |
| Not much is going on today...I'm just bored sitting in schiool typing up this thing. I've been extremely mad at Nicole for what she did the other day. Remember the whole...I'd marry her thing? I'm still going bipolar about that... So! monday, at Art Club, I made a page especially for her, out of a quote I made up but somebody made it up before me. Isn't that creepy? I thought of something and it turns out to be a quote...well, the only thing the page said was: WHY IS IT THAT THE PEOPLE YOU CARE ABOUT THE MOST ARE THE ONES THAT HURT YOU THE MOST? That was it...and it took a little bit of the pain away. The whole reson I'm mad about Nicole hearing that is because I know she doesn't feel the same way about me yet. If I could've just waited longer...if only the first time I said I loved her was to her face... It's one of the things I'm going to regret even though it wasn't my fault. But I can only hope now that things turn out better. even Nicole says that she feels better now that the truth's out...but she won't tell me how she feels. She claims she told me, but that was the time I found out she heard the phone conversation, so I was too dumb struck to make sense of what she said! And she won't tell me again...is that because what she said would hurt me...or because she can't say it in front of her parents, or what? It's so confusing. In other news...I'm reading the Inkheart series by Cornelia Funke. It's really good. Takes my mind off things in this world as it wraps me up in its own. I've read Inkheart, I'm reading Inkspell, and I'm waiting to buy Inkdeath (though I prefer the title it almost was, Inkdawn) and read it. Well, whenever I actullay save my money (: I may buy it. Oh! And if things go well with my old people and with Preston, he may come over to my house some weekend. It depends, though...hopefully I don't have plans. Preston's making plans of his own, though...for when he comes to my house. I just have to wait and see how things turn out... Well, the bells about to ring, so I gotta go. Hopefully I'll have more time to write! See ya! |
| Ohh...I'm am sooooooooooooo tired.....I tried to say hi to one of my friends in the hall today and ended up running into a wall. I really need caffiene of something. Okay, back to me and Nicole. So, why do I just decide to not give up on her? Well, it's because of everything I've already told you...how we laugh at each other's jokes...we can tell each other anything...how when she does want a boyfriend I'll be the first one or I'll go insane... Well, here's a memory of Nicole and I... Well, I had it all planned out. She would be at the festival and so would I. I'd meet up with her and we'd hang out for the rest of the time at...the Wool Fest. Yes, it sounds extremely corny, I know, but that's the sort of festivals you have in the middle of nowhere. All of Nicole's friends had never heard about it and were wondering if you shaved sheep or something there. I guess you used to if you went...I don't really know. Either way, I didn't get wooly stuff there. All I did was hang out with Nicole, Kelly, and Megan. I've already dated Megan (long time ago) Kelly (last year) and I want to go out with Nicole (whenever she becomes like a normal person and gets me as a boyfriend). We walked around...got some necklaces. I gave one to Nicole as a late birthday present. I got it in Gatlinburg in June, didn't see her in September when her birthday is, and gave it to her at the festival. I also got a necklace with Megan somehow...it was a ying yang symbol with a smiley on it, except cut in half, so I got a half and Megan got on, too. Next, we got a carichature, and if I spelled that right, go me, but...this dude drew a picture of all four of us (cartoon-like) and made my wallet get really thin. The picture was cool, though. Nicole, Kelly, and Megan (surprisingly in the order I like them) were chasing after me...awesome! Well, we gave the picture to Megan to copy but she never gave it back...grrr..... Well, we finally lost Megan and Kelly had to work at a drink booth, so it was only me and Nicole. So, what did we do? Well, there's this bridge that's on the furthest side of the festival where you can always go to get privacy...as long as there isn't a couple of people making out under it. Nicole and I slid down the slope to get under the bridge, almost falling into the creek under it. She got freaked out! We started talking...serious stuff...like about Kelly and Todd, our friends who should totally go out, and Megan and our old friends, and about us. I sort of slipped it in there, hoping it would turn out okay. Why is it that the people we care about most are the ones that hurt us the most? I'm so bipolar when I think of Nicole that I go from love to hate to blah to insane in a matter of seconds. She doesn't mind, though, cause she knows when I go crazy it's out of love...and tons of teen hormones, but that's besides the point. I asked her to go out with me, and she said "You know I would," which...I didn't really know. But hearing her say that made me flipping happy. Note: this was before she spied on me and heard I would, like, die for her, so this was awesome. We started to dance, at least, well, tried. We were going crazy together...hearing the music in our heads. then, when we started actually listening to the music playing at the festival, it was "Sweet Home Alabama," the country song closest to a head-banger, so we did that. It was crazy... Well, we came back up to the festival arms around each other and all that good stuff. We didn't kiss, (grrrrrr...) because she has to be so innocent or whatever. We visited Kelly at the drink booth, who was freezing from taking drinks out of 0 degree water in 30 degree weather. Nicole and I offered to help but they wouldn't let us. By that time, it was time for me to go. I hugged Nicole and ran off to my old people who were waiting to take me home... And no matter what happened I knew I'd be on a suger high for like, a month. |
| Yes, I know I've been rushing so far on the story, but that's because I'm trying to catch up with a years worth of experiences! I'll start telling whats happening in everyday life and tell a memory or two here and there... Well... I will always write about what happened yesterday, since I get on the computer at about ten AM. Yesterday I was really not in the mood for school...we had a four day weekend, but I wish it had turned into a sort of Fall Break. We only got ONE day! One day! That's it! Oh, forget it...Thanksgiving break will be here soon. I can't wait until Thanksgiving. The family atmosphere is so pleasant...and that's probably the only time you'll here me say that. I'm happy cause >gasp< Nicole's on my mind now. The young people in the family usually invite their dates to eat Thanksgiving with us, but >sob< I'm too young for that now. My old people (aka grandparents) have totally forgotten the haywire hormones of being a teenager... After surviving my classes, I went home, had a bite to eat, and ran to band practice. I play in the church band...a band with my firends...and maybe even the school band (I just hope I'm not tuba!). We went and played for about two hours...we're doing good on our songs. The weird thing about my church (well, it's not totally 'weird') is that about everybody else comes from a different county. I feel really alone there...even though I know I shouldn't. How do you get depressed (a little, don't worry, I'm not suicidal) in church? It's just not right... But I'm happy when we do songs...it's cool. I hope I get to play my mellow songs this Sunday at youth group! They are awesome...and I'll be the only one on stage! So, after practice, I went back to my mom's house. I'm living with my mom again for 10 days. I just wish there wasn't school during that time, cause my mom's actually kind of cool. We go and do stuff a lot, which is fun! Of course. I have to say, right now I hold a bit of resentment at Kelly and Nicole. I had called Kelly right after her party since I wasn't able to come and she went into this whole therapist thing where she wanted me to tell her what I thought about Nicole. Well, my exact words were "Well, I love her. If we were older I'd marry her. I'd die for Nicole." Later, I found out Nicole was staying at Kelly's house and was listening to everything I said. I about died. How the heck could they do something like that? What's up with that? Nicole said it started out as a prank phone call, but Kelly turned it into therapy 101...grrrrrrr... Well, at least the truths out. I've spilled my guts. Now for Nicole to spill hers... And does she like me? Well, yes and no...it's so confusing to me. Through other events (like the one I'll tell you in my next blog) I know Nicole likes me. She just doesn't like me as much as I like her... And she like sbeing single. Of course, I'd be the first guy she'd pick when she wants a boyfirend (I'd better be...:) but she just has to be a freak and doesn't want one. GRRRRRR! Get a boyfriend! Well, I better not say that....if she chosses someone else... Have I mentioned I have volatile jealousy? It's killer...but I hope I don't mean that lierally! :) |
| Even with the rough start, we somehow started talking. And it was really cool. We were friends straight away. She liked horses and celtic things...I liked guitars and french stuff...both our fathers were teachers...it was cool. She laughed at all my jokes, too, which was awesome. For some reason I always get hyper around her. I don't act like somebody else...I show a different side of myself. I guess the real side instead of the dark, silent me. A few months of this and I started to think about dating her, but hid back the question. It's the whole rejection-phobia thing teenagers have. If she said no, things would be awkward for a really long time. And they were. After I asked her for the first time, she said, no, and then my friend lied to me (grr...to them) and said Nicole talked about me behind my back. That's one of the things I can't stand. So...we were seperated. For about...one month. then I caved and started talking to her again. With me and her, not talking to her is like trying to stop an addiction, and it's even harder for me now than it was then. So, by January we were all friends again. We just sailed through the rest of year happy. She even started to like me more, but I couldn't risk asking her again. I didn't want another cold December without her. So, by the end of the school year we were all ecstatic about school letting out and everything. That was when we really got to have fun together. Ever play the game spoons? Well, we played that with these sharp checkers. We got into total fights over these checkers, and about ten people were playing at the same time. It was crazy! We got cut, bruised, sent to the hosptital (okay, the last one's a lie) but it was awesome! You can probably tell by the slight change in my writing style that this really was awesome. Well, the year was about to end and we wouldn't see each other for a long time. So what do we do? Force our friend Kelly to hold a party for her birthday and for the end of the school year! Kelly and Erin are best friends. That year, she had a crush on Todd, my best friend. Seems like a perfect double date couple, right? Well, Erin wouldn't say yes to me and Todd wouldn't say yes to Kelly. Sad, huh? they don't have much in common, though. Kelly likes horses, like Erin, and lives on a ranch. todd lives somewhere in town and works on the computer a lot. Whenever they hang out, though, they have a good time. we were the Fab Four! And me and Todd even have haricuts like the Fab Four! So, at the party Erin and I are hanging out. We swin together in Kelly's pool, throw beanbags at each other (we bruise very easily...not because of our skin but because of how hard we throw!) And when we were really tired we laid down in a ple of pillows next to each other...it was awesome. What did neither of us know? Erin was moving. She was going to go to a school in the next county, so I'd barely even see her now. Now she goes to Bishop Brossart, a Catholic School, and I go to our county's high school. We talk every night on the phone, though, so It's fun. and we even see each other sometimes. We carry on, even if it seems like the world trying to stop us! |
| So, I'm walking down the hall towards Algebra when I see that one girl that just moved here today. She's kind of pretty, and borderline on cheerleader looks. Well, not much happens until, for some reason unknown to all things in the universe, I talk to her. And why did I even do it? I'm usually the kind of guy who just hangs out in the background while eveything else happens. So, I go to make a move and say, "Hey, what's up?" I asked her. We were about the second to last people to get into the room. "Hi," she said back at me." "Hey, ummm..." What was I going to say? What was I even going to say? This is crazy! So I, being as dumb as I was, just stand there. "Spit it out, Mike, " whispered my firend Casey behind me. I totally owe her a ton for that, cause then I was able to finish my sentence and go back to regular life...well, not that, but close to however normal my life ever got. "Whatever Megan said about me...it's a lie." Megan was this girl's friend, and well...we hated each other for a while so I had to make sure. We ran to our seats and started getting out our notebooks. Later, she told me that her first thought was "Ohh! This is the crazy kid my father told me about." Her father was a teacher and I had him in class. The freaky part is, though, that I'd rather talk to him any day than with her mother, but that's a long ways a way/ Let the love story of Nicole and Houston begin. |
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