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Daily blog/ ramblings of a wife/mother about life friendship and family drama |
| This is my first time blogging. I'm not even sure I am doing this correctly. I just want to write about life, family and daily drama. I hate drama and my life seems to be drowning in it at times. Comments are welcomed. |
| Due to financial difficulties I had to stop seeing my therapist and I started looking for a way to help myself. I started reading the writings of Robert Burney. He is a spiritual teacher and a codependency counselor. His websites are so inspirational for me and I think others out here who suffer from the same codependency issues may like it too. http://joy2meu.com/index.html. I print and read his updates everyday. I try to pick a statement everyday and work on it for my own recovery. Today's is as follows. We do not have the power to change others - we do have the power to change our relationship with self by healing our codependency / wounded souls. We can access the capacity to accept, embrace, forgive, have compassion for, and set boundaries with, all parts of self. Learning to Love our self will allow us to gain the capacity to Love others in a healthy way. Changing our relationship with life can transform life into an exciting adventure." ~ Robert Burney |
| I am working on a project to help myself from this affliction of Co Dependency. I am writing a sort of biography of my memories. This is a hard project but very eye opening to the flood of memories that were locked away for so long. I was told that co dependency starts in childhood. And the only way to help yourself is to figure out where it began. So I sat on Sunday morning trying to think of my earliest memories and they started flooding my mind from the age of around 4 years old. Which amazes me because I can't remember what happened yesterday most of the time..lol I started writing it all down as they came to me and I now have 10 pages of memories and names of people I haven’t thought of in 35 to 45 years. I think the more I read about co dependency the more nervous I get because in severe cases it can cause Alzheimer’s Disease, Cancer and a lot more damage. I don't know how severe my case is but I decided to get my life on paper and eventually typed in here while I can still remember something and hopefully fix myself so it won't happen. That’s all I have for today. Write on!! |
| Hello World, Yesterday was a bad day, I had a migrane and could not even look at the computer let alone think enough to write. I slept most of the day. Today is much better. My husband and I did breakfast at the Lodge this morning. It was a very slow morning only served 12 meals. Last Sunday they did 91. (I was happy). Then he had to leave for work at 1pm but its a full week now he's working (thats a real good thing). My two brothers and my sisters best friend flew in this weekend for a weeks vacation and along with my sister they are all staying at my moms house. It is really a full house. Now that my sister is thinking seriously about moving here i'm sure its only a matter of time before my brothers will. They love coming here. My mom has a big pool and they stay in it the whole time their here. Usually my brothers drive down and bring there motor cycles, I was very suprised they flew down. I will be going over there for dinner tonight to see everyone. We plan on watching a video sent to us by my cousin, all old 8mm films put on cd of when we were children. Mostly of my dads side of the family. I know my sister and I will cry when we see my Dad again. I tear up just thinking of it. I am still working on my family drama. I have faith we can get all this worked out and live happily ever after. Selania |
| At the end of February my husband lost his job of 7-years. It has been very rough on us financially and emotionally. He started one job about 2 months ago for allot less then he was used to making and doing something he also was not used to doing and was very unhappy. When the company he now works for called him for a job and told him they needed him to start immediately he did not hesitate to quit the other job. He went to work the next night. They told him it was a test run, back and forth from West Palm Beach to St Augustine, Florida a 13 hour day. The next day the job was put on hold. He was put back on layoff after one day due to the manufacturer not being ready to ship the load of materials. That was a month ago. Everyday they would call him and say the job is going to start this week but it never did, until yesterday. Finally they called and said "were ready" tonight you drive" be here in an hour. He was so excited about work; I think the adrenalin kept him going another 13 hours. He worked until 2am. They told him they would let him know if he was working tonight and they called him tonight, 1 hour before he was due at work. So again I'm worried about him being up all night driving a tractor-trailer on about 5 hours of sleep. He will drive from 8pm until 9 or 10 am. I can't understand how these companies can call a truck driver to drive all night on one or two hours notice? Do they not understand that accidents happen due to lack of sleep. Something about this company leaves me uneasy. My husband thinks I worry too much. What would you think? Am I wrong? I guess we will just have to wait and see this is only day 2. |
| One of my daughters biggest fears is flying. She makes a trip home from China once per year which involves several flights each way. She has been home now since June 9th and her trip here was unusually uneventful even quite pleasant she said. Well Saturday she started her long journey back to where she lives in China. The first flight started out stranded on the tarmac for two hours and passengers being told that the brakes malfunctioned and A/C was out! Thankfully everything was fixed and she landed in Atlanta fine. Her second leg of this trip home has now had a rocky start as well, leaving just this morning, two hours into the flight when some poor women has a heart attack and the plane has to make an emergency landing in Minnesota.The take offs and landings are the hardest for her and this just caused an additional one of each. She still has at least 12 hours left on this flight to Shanghi and then one more from Shanghi to Chengdu. Then a two hour bus ride to her village and then a 10 minute walk with hords of luggage to her school and up three flights of stairs! I would have done this one time and quit, but not my girl. I worry so much about my daughter and I think she needs stop flying to China before she gives me a heart attack. Selania |
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