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 |   Poetry and Prose about life, family, thoughts & Lesbian concerns of heart |
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** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Come in for a visit. I write about my life as a daughter, mom, grandmother, friend and life partnership with my lesbian wife. You may smile, laugh or cry, either way you'll have learned about life in America since 1938. ANN And, my friend, I understand because all my silent years I was so deep into my church and Christian activities and feared 'sin' and felt shame when 'sex' was mentioned. Nobody spoke of the "horrible" sin they would not name (the rape of a child); At the same time, I watched ministers and deacons and Sunday School teachers sneaking around committing adultery, while I desired and lived 'without sin' as I knew sin to be as I was taught. I thought and studied the Bible and realized how today's preachers and teachers condemn only what they don't do or what a church leader has said to condemn; I've seen the woman run out of the church but not the man; I saw enough, and I knew the heart of love within me, from all through my life had its focus; it was never about 'having sex'. ...Heck, I didn't know about homosexuality until my college years; then I understood my heart and there was never a sexual thought associated with anyone before my marriage to the man who 'chased' me three years then almost murdered me 16 years later as my children heard the physical fight. After that I stayed single Mom, never dated, just had many friends and my children. Finally after raising my grandson, and knowing my own heart would never ever seek love from a man, I acknowledged that all my life, all of my relationship experiences and feelings clearly showed I had a heart that was drawn romantically with deep love that I could not ever express. Then I moved to Portland, came out and you know you can read the rest of the story. I know how God created my heart. If I don't believe God created me as I am, how could I live? It has nothing to do with 'doing' anything at all; it is 'being' as my Creator created me. ............................................................................................................................................................................................................ I retired in Idaho then moved to Oregon to show my pride as a member of the latest hated group across America: I am a lesbian and when I came "Out at Sixty", I came with pride and joy that I no longer had to hold the secret or carry the shame thrown at gay men and lesbians. With that same pride, I accept all persons and their right to be who they are and live with joy, peace, and the pursuit of happiness. I took a writing course at age 69 and began to write short stories, poems, essays, Op-ed comps and I found Writing.com where I am an Advocacy Writer, writing as an advocate for every person to have Civil and God-given rights each day as they pursue happiness for themselves and their families. Yes, most of my writing has been about gays and lesbians, however, I believe every person in the world shares the same heart and spirit to live peaceably with all peace loving people; while seeking to change the minds of those who live with anger, hatred, prejudice, racism and such. |
| Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" December 14, 2015 Prompt: Since “know thyself” is a highly overrated piece of wisdom which, at times, proves to be impossible, what do you think of those biography writers who claim to have the insight into someone else’s psyche? Shouldn’t that biography book be considered as a form of fiction? I wrote a poem earlier today that, I believe, answers the question of whether Biographies should be considered as a form of fiction. I agree because I do not believe every person's personal secrets are told to a Biographer whether those secrets are of personal pain caused by another person such as a child rapist, or reasons behind a divorce, or a previous love, or pain caused to another person, or attitudes that would not be acceptable to the readers nor the biographer. Nobody knows the secrets of the soul belonging to Abraham Lincon, Franklin Roosevelt, Winston Churchill, or any person a writer chooses to write about. Biographers conjecture ideas and attitudes from what they know, not what they have been told nor have proof about. So, half of any Biography just might be fiction. Secrets Within Every life has a secret, some more than enough, during life's path where stones create rough places, lie or truth, treachery that steals moments of joy, create fear, an enemy's bluff, then buried deep and covered with sorrow, tears and anger, pretending it's nothing but fluff without strength to affect life's good works, should the life crumble when life gets tough. Secrets barred to a friendly soul if overheard, may strip the tender soul of good reputation leaving the one open to painful emotional loss. The power required to hold secrets drains a life in ways that block the spirit's will, they toss and turn, wrestling with power causing strife. Lifelong power of child molestation's dross kept secret while diminishing a spirit's life with fear of the criminal causing the loss. Not all secrets would hurt others in a family; yet some have scarred a single soul significantly. |
| "We can all relate to the saying ' One death is a tragedy: a million deaths is a statistic.' " "Why do we struggle to sympathize with large numbers of victims?" Are we psychologically numb? Simply desensitized? Or is simply people cannot relate to large numbers of deaths? Great prompt. Lyn, I do appreciate the searches you make to come up with some awesome prompts. I have not heard the phrase before and I do not agree with it. I do agree that when there is a single death among family and friends, I relate far deeply with sadness than about other deaths in the world. When the single death is a leader of the nation or other significant individual, I react far more than with most deaths. When I heard and saw about Jonestown and the many bodies, women, children, teens, men, I was struck with a great amount of sadness; to understand such horrible situations people can allow themselves to get into, is deeply saddening. Even today as I learn of a young male or female joining ISIS, leaving family and nation to go there where most will die and most will be used sexually before their death, I sorrow and shake my head at such ignorance chosen. What I think has caused less sorrowing when learning of deaths is TELEVISION which gives us views of fictional deaths every single day. So many movies and stories of dying even though fiction, allows us to build up our defenses against sorrow, sadness, and other normal responses to death. Not a day goes by that we are not 'entertained' by stories in which deaths, often violent, occurs; so we become jaded against death. Thus, when a news report or newspaper tells us of death, we just glibly accept the news like it were just another fictional story. To see news reporting carnage and numerous deaths are real and are felt deeply when we recognize it is reality, nonfictional. The terrorism across our country, our nation supposed to be civilized, does affect us. Seeing the carnage, as little as television showed, and hearing of those who died needlessly without any positive purpose except the ugliness of certain individualsism does affect us deeply; at the same time, we do not cry extensively as we would do if we actually know one or more of the victims of such mass murder. Our hearts do become heavy with sorrow and filled with anger at those who could even imagine such horrors. No, we do not cry extensively because of deaths reported on the news or newspapers because we do not know the individuals personally. We cry the most when we not only know one or more victims but the more personal each victim was/is to our loving hearts. We 'give a damn' about all people but when it is not deeply personal, our sorrow shows in words, a shake of the head, a way of not understanding the 'why' but we do feel sorrow. Perhaps it is good that we do not lose ourselves in sorrow at deaths of unknown individuals or large groups of carnage; if we took them so personally as to have deep sorrow, tears, deep felt loss, then we could not find our joy any day we live. After all, every single day there are deaths in our community, our nation, our world, and still we know we must be 'present' in our lives during each day in order to live and serve our families. Perhaps that is the best reason for not being overwhelmed with sorrow when the news reports numerous deaths at a scene. ann ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" AY 644 December 11, 2015http://www.nytimes.com/2015/12/06/opinion/sunday/born-to-be-conned.html?_r=0 I read an interesting article this weekend and would like your opinion. "Honesty and greed are beside the point. We get ourselves into trouble because we're suckers for belief. What matters instead is greed of a different sort: a deep need to believe in a version of the world where everything really is for the best-- at least when it comes to us.." Do you agree or disagree? Are we born to be conned! I read the full composition and have one conclusion, "the writer does not know how to clearly express an opinion or statement. Throughout the article, I found confusion in how statements were made, nothing clearly stated there nothing clearly proving the statements made. A gobble-gook of words thrown together does not prove something. THEREFORE, I FIND THE STATEMEN 'GOBBLE-GOOK' WITHOUT PROOF WITHIN IT NOR IN THE LARGER WRITTEN ITEM. In response to the specific question, MY OPINION, while remembering an 'opinion' never needs proof because it is just that, an opinion. People with an opinion, are seldom asked for proof of whether the opinion is 'right or wrong'. Thus people can state anything and we weigh our response.. It is such generalizations given as an OPINION, which allows racism, radicalism, nationalism, even juries, democracy, religion, majority, truth. Most often, the person expressing an opinion is not asked to explain why they believe what they do, how they arrived at that OPINION/conclusion. because we either agree or disagree without desiring to make or change our own opinions. I do NOT agree that "People are born to be conned" but I do know each of us is apt to participate in an activity that we believe might benefit us in some way. Yes, there are people who never learned as children how to detect someone wanting to 'take advantage of them' but educational experiences' particularly in sports, remind us how we can lose if someone is trying to 'conn' us, make us believe something good will come to us if we participate. Most people learned early just how to evaluate a situation before participating, particularly when the person might lose something important to them. Even when we know we might LOSE, we WILL CHOOSE TO PARTICIPATE ANYWAY .... We've learned from experience that "SOMETIMES WE GET LUCKY" so we may make a clear decision to participate even when there is a fifty-fifty chance of losing. Of course, the wiser folks won't participate if they know they cannot get along if that which they could lose is something critical. It all depends on their belief about what they could lose; how important that thing is. Making the decision anyway, is made from personal knowledge not from some in-born aspect such as 'bornned to be conned." I have greater confidence that most people make wise decisions, not an immediate emotional decision. And I do not believe we 'are born to be conned' as human beings. In the arena of politics, we often ask 'why' of the person, expecting to be given evidence, |
| "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" Day 643 December 10, 2015 Prompt: Your local electronics store has 3 new products: Time machine, a door that goes anywhere you want or a helmet that lets you see the future. You can only afford one. Which one do you choose? I'll take the time machine. At 77 I am closer to the END than at the Beginning and I don't think there's enough years ahead. I love life. I love people. I love America and writing and friends around the world and I love learning and going places; Problem for me is there are too few, too damn few years left for me to enjoy all that I love about life. If I could, I would want to be eighteen again, heading to college to learn and plan and begin to live as an adult in America and elsewhere in the world where I have WDC friends. Having good health without the problems of aging would be important to me. Although all things that have happened in my life were not always good and perfect, just living and having life experiences have been wonderful. Every activity, every person whom I've met, technology and humanity have all taught me something and given me experiences that have blessed my life. So, it would be wonderful to go through life again or have added years in good health so I could meet new folks, learn new information, visit new places in the world, enjoy love and life much longer than I will be able to do now. AND I WOULD HAPPILY LIVE MORE YEARS AS A LESBIAN IF I COULD HAVE MORE YEARS Bring on the time machine and I will be the happiest person in the world all over again. Sure there have been negative things happen to me, but there have been far far more than the negative actions of other people. In spite of them, I love being with people, discussing ideas and changes that would make the world better, having the love of specific individuals to bless my life, watching nations of the world make changes that eventually lead to good...even when they fought a war and lost that war they caused, good still comes to the wider world than the hotspots and idiots out there. I love being with people as individuals here on my street, in my family, persons whom I meet for the first time, those I've known for years, someone I've never met at the grocery store, the airport, the post office, in foreign lands, on writing.com, everywhere there are people with whom I can share a conversation and learn something more. I love having pets like our doggies, cats, chickens, turkeys, birdies, and seeing animals in the zoo, on the sidewalk with their owners, in the wild like forests, plains, mountains, everywhere. I would love to talk to people I have not met like our space travelers, political world leaders, musicians, and others when it is possible to chat with them and learn from them since they have experiences I've not had. Give me time and you'll make me very very happy. YES!!    ANN |
| "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" DAY 640 December 7, 2015 Prompt: Could terrorism--local, national, or international—have roots in a person’s or a group’s cultural disorientation and psychological instability? What do you think starts this type of crazy behavior? We human beings are what we learn from birth to old age and death. All that happens around us from the days in the baby crib until the days in the nursing home, makes us who we are from that moment. It is known that we are who we are because of what happens while in the womb; the mother who is beaten and cussed at during pregnancy has within her womb a little brain absorbing the sounds and pounds hitting her. Whatever family, school, audience, culture, war, celebration, all things happening around us and to us, physically, socially, mentally, affect each persons "orientation, disorientation, psychological health or instability'. For this reason, humankind can be either kind and good toward fellow humans or can be evil and damaging toward fellow humans. Anyone who grew up in a home where there was anger is more apt to terrorize other people. Those who hold anger deep inside, pretending on the outside to be peaceful and kind, are the worst when it comes to doing something that will always hurt other people. The 'strong silent type' may be like a bomb ready to explode when all those hidden negative feelings rise to the surface. Not all 'strong silent types' hide negative feelings for SOME WILL talk about them, AND seek information to help them make good and rightful decisions about the words and actions they take. The weak person who seems unable to make decisions looks to someone else to lead their actions; the wife from radical Islam can easily manipulate the weak man her husband; maybe he chose her because she was strongminded and decisive because he was so 'nice and quiet' he was easily manipulated Every person is responsible for his/her own actions. I do not forgive those who willingly without conscience hurt/maim/kill/wound/ other people. If there is an Afterlife, they will receive just punishment far beyond the evil they do against fellowmen and women. I don't believe a just and holy God forgives them either; why should He? :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: December 7, 2015 Prompt: Your smile lights up someone else's day. Use this line in a poem or story. The moment the bright light of the birthing room appears, tiny baby cries. The moment he walks into the room and sees the lighted Christmas tree, little boy smiles. the moment I walk into the nursing home to see grandma, she smiles for I have brightened her day, I smile because she has brightened my day, smiles shared are special loving gifts, one to another, me to you, you to me, always each of us can bring light and joy to the one who receives our smile. I like the fact that one of my fellow students in 1956, my senior year with a class of 400 seniors, wrote a note to me on the back of her senior picture: She wrote "Ann, you always have a smile on your face. Thank you for being who you are." I just read that note yesterday as I was perusing through old photographs; it blessed me once again that I was remembered by my smile. ANN |
"Blogging Circle of Friends " DAY 1114: December 3, 2015 Prompt: How do you stay creative with your writing? I stay creative because every single day I respond to a thought by writing what the thought brings. I stay creative by just being myself. I stay creative in writing because I simply cannot avoid being who I am. I wrote to this prompt, was very happy with how and what I wrote, then I forgot to 'save' so it all went away. I cannot reconstruct it again; I can never reconstruct a thought therefore I must stop whatever I was doing when the thought came and write write write until the thought has gone where it wants to go. Sometimes it is a poem, sometimes a story, whatever the thought wants to morf into, I allow it to go there...that's creative writing. When it is creative, it doesn't need work and correcions and changes, it just needs to be put down as it chooses............the creative thought is the creative writing itself so I just go with it and the poem or story someone then reads is as it was intended by itself to become. I do not create, I just write what comes through me to my fingers to the screen as creative writing. To stay creative is to allow the thoughts to grow on the screen or the paper, whatever medium chosen, let the creativity within you just let it live and appear then you will be surprised and each time you read it, you will feel the emotions that came with it the first moment of that thought. Don't fuss and muss with it; just let it create itself and appear before you. That's when you feel the true joy of 'creative writing'. ANN "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" Day 636 December 3, 2015 Prompt: Do you agree that the weather alters a person's mood? Does the weather affect your mood? Those of us who suffer from clinical, physical-medical Depression, KNOW without a doubt that the weather "alters a person's mood" for we know how the short, darkened mornings and evenings during the short days of winter DO AFFECT our mood, a mood which is detrimental to our emotional health. Darkened mornings and evenings cause us to have less physical energy to combat the loss of emotional energy. We try as hard a possible to keep our 'spirits high' while the depression drags us down into sadness which is more physical than emotional. This loss of physical energy makes it more difficult than ever to overcome the affects of the Depression no matter how hard we try to be 'up and energetic' every hour. It is far more than a 'mood' but a deep and powerful thundering, damaging affect far deeper than a 'mood'. We know that spring and summer, even autumn, days when there is light from the sun to feed our souls, lift our spirits, energize us to 'feel good', is very real. The affect of long light-filled days allow us to enjoy engegetic life day by day, hour by hour. Opposite to that is when the short, dark mornings and evenings, create changes which we are not empowered to easily overcome. Yes, medicatations do help us to feel 'better' but that loss of emotional and physical energy is very real, very powerful, and require so much energy and desire to 'feel good' these dark and dreary days. It is far more than a 'mood' for it is our life that we seek to protect when the weather and shortened light hours are powerful forces against us. It is so deep that we realize the power to overcome and to be uplifted and joyful and live smoothly; instead, we have to focus what little energy remains within us those days, so we do not succumb to the power of the 'mood' swings that come. If you have family who suffer and lose energy on such darkened days, be kind and try to understand that they do not become 'moody' on purpose. Instead, they are fighting against the darkness of the soul. Find ways to lift their spirits and allow them to find pleasure and joy by how you respond to them, to us, and how you lead us to become a more spirited participant in something akin to 'happiness' which so swiftly flees just when we need it the most. Find a way to make us smile, laugh, participate in energy increasing activities, even if it is just a smile when we feel appreciated with a warm, loving heart in our family or among our friends. Please realize, we need to draw some energy from you through your loving care and sharing your joy and outgoing ways at the times our 'mood' is greatly affected. Just this moment my phone rang; it was a call from a person whom I've trusted and befriended who instead of being appropriate toward me, ended up entering my house when I was away and had forgotten to lock the back door, he entered the door and stole my box of money change, today when I challenged him on that, he told me he did it in a bad moment and has been to his doctors for his mental problems; I had trusted him before and he had stolen blank checks and cashed hundreds of dollars from my accounts; so he still wants me to befriend him 'like a grandmother' but again and this time without ever allowing him back into friendship with me, I told him either I or my neighbors if they saw him, would call the police; after all he has a court order to stay away from me and my property. I hate having to be even mean toward him, but he has caused me depression and worry and I have to force myself to not allow his presence near me or mine again. This conversation just took a load of my personal energy and this moment, I am diminished of my energy just because he dared to call on me to be his friend again. I know I must not; and I will not let this clinical depression pull me down in a 'mood' I hate. You see, dear reader, the influence of negative others has a powerful impact on those of us who suffer from physical-medical depression or its opposite medical condition; AND the weather these darkened evenings and mornings, have a powerful negative affect. If only we could just hop on a plane and travel to the other hemisphere when such darkened days come. If only..... |
| Blog City: what was your favorite book, movie when you were ten years old? Really, you want me to go back to 1948 and remember my favorite movie and book: Actually I can because my favorite movie that year was a wonderful story featuring Natalie Wood as a child about age six who had a sheep to enter into the County Fair. Another movie was "The Egg and I" about a young town girl who married a young farmer and she met Ma and Pa Kettle, introduced for the first time to the public. Innocent and delightful movies and books were available. The books I was reading that year were The Bobbsey Twins all about two sets of twins in the same family. I read everything I could get my hands on, even the farm journal magazines which my grandfather received. Oh the innocence of books and movies those years. ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Bloging circle of friends: WRite about December.......... As a child back in about 1948 when I was ten years old, December was the most wonderful month to look forward because it was Christmas. During WWII while DAd was away on a ship in the Pacific war against Japanese Emperor, I worried about him and wondered if he would ever get to come home. I remember the day my mother was holding the newspaper and crying; I asked her why and she showed me the news photo of the Atomic Bomb on Hiroshima; that made me understand war. While Dad was gone that Christmas, there was no money for Santa Claus to bring even a Christmas tree to be decorated so midmorning my grandmother and our mothers sent all us kids, me my siblings and cousins outside to play. Later they called us in and HOORAY Santa Claus had come....in the back bedroom we went in and saw all our coats on the beds, there on our individual coats were some Christmas gifts. We were excited, Santa Claus had come after all!! For me there was a homemade dress (I hated wearing dresses but had to wear dresses to school then) and a 'ball and jacks' and a comb/hairbrush set which was blue. My sister got a set but hers was pink or red. You see, she always got red/pink and I got blue/baby blue things. My eyes are blue, hers were brown; I guess hair brushes and toothbrushes did not come in brown. All of my uncles were like my father, serving in the U.S. military somewhere around the world. The best thing that year was when all of them came home safe and uninjured. Yes, we were a fortunate family. ANN ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** for showing yourself,not being afraid to do so:You are inspirational. A.J.Lyle; Ann:honoring "OUT IN LOVE"...You're helping to open minds against gay's relationships,and supporting those struggling with their sexuality everyday."Joy |
"Blogging Circle of Friends " DAY 1112 December 1, 2015 Name a category all major beauty pageants should have, but don't? Do you think they demean women or encourage them to think outside the box? I have always hated beauty pageants because they are so unfair and discriminatory. Have yo ever seen a beauty pageant where the chose winner was one of us 'tomboys', us girls who loved sports and being outdoors hiking, canoeing, running, competing? Of course not because 'tomboys' are just not considered beautiful. We 'tomboys' got that label as a child because we preferred tobe outdoors climbing trees, exploring and running instead of being indoors with sister and cousin playing with dolls and pretending to be married and having husband and children. We lived athletically allways from early age to old age; I still prefer to be outdoors raking leaves instead of indoors sweeping floors. Beauty pageants demean more than fifty percent of women because they consider the physical 'beauty' not the inward beauty of personhood, personality, ways of relating to other people, and true qualities of beauty. The winners of beauty pageants whom I have actually known were superficial, shallow, egotistical, unworthy of maintaining a friendship. So what beauty? nose, mouth, eyes, make-up creations, all superficial. Bah Humbug!! |
| "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" DAY 627 November 24, 2015 Prompt: What cognitive scientist Emmanuel Trouche and his colleagues call "the selective laziness of reasoning" is this: “You are more likely to use sound reasoning if you could hear your own thoughts coming from someone else.” What do you think about this? Does this shine a light on why we make bad choices sometimes? An amazing idea, hearing your own words spoken by someone else; what a strong idea. Presidential candidate Donald Trump needs to hear his ugly words as if from someone else. I am appalled at the angry fury of his words and am even more appalled at the Americans who are drinking in his dreadful hatred; not one of them seems to understand what my wonderful America has always stood for through our history. How, I ask, can anyone follow such rheutoric? Yet I know the answer because we saw this same thing happen in Germany in the 1930's when Adolph Hitler railed against the Jewish people AND the people living there in Germany praised him and accepted all that hatred. Yes, they paid an enormous price for such ugliness but so did millions of American, British, French, and other Allied Forces who died fighting against Hitler and the Germans who accepted such hatred. We are seeing American supporting Trump's ugly words by their support of his candidacy. Today my heart is filled with hurt, pain that Americans choose to support such dreadful words. Tears are falling as I even consider such hatred exists in the hearts of American people of any number for hatred of Moslem believers living next door, doing business next door, praying to the same God that Trump and supporters of him are assumed to pray to. How can this be? I just don't understand. My prayer that Trump, Christie, Jindal, Cruz, and others showing unsound beliefs with prejudice and hatred, will stop a moment and truly hear the words coming from their mouths. Even more, each Republican supporter of the ugliness during this election cycle. How can American tongues speak as they do, how can American ears listen, how can American hearts agree? I just cannot understand. Ann |
| Sunday News prompt: Last week a church in Buffalo, NY unintentionally put a pro-homosexuality message on its outdoor sign . The sign read "Jesus had 2 dads, and he turned out just fine". The sign was the church pastor's idea, which he came up with after Googling "funny church signs"...and he claims his intention was to promote a message about fathers and stepdads, and not a pro-homosexuality message. While the Catholic Church looks down mightily on gay marriage, it has also had policies against divorce and remarriage of heterosexuals. What's the bigger sin: two people of the same sex loving each other and committing to a life together, or two people of the opposite sex breaking their vows in the eyes of the church? First: Please keep me in this blogging group. Well, my friends, I'm angry this week at all the ranting against Islam worshippers and Syrian refugees being heard from the mouths of men wanting to become President of this United States; their prejudice and hatred are appalling to me; that too many other people agree with their ugliness, is fearful since it means the haters of Islam believers and Syrians in particular, just could get elected to public office, even the White House. As for pro or con homosexual signage outside a church or anywhere in America and the world would be quite surprising; of course the signage by the pastor was not pro homosexual; after all TOO MANY 'christians' throughout the world are bigoted, hateful and prejudiced against gay men and lesbians..............That pastor must have been quite humiliated when some people believed he was in favor of two gay men in love building a home together, adopting children, would be OKAY. The joke's on him. The truth is two gay men adopting a child is something beautiful, especially for the child who would probably be straight, heterosexual, not gay and the fathers would love their child just the same. I get so angry at all the people who think gay men and lesbians are somehow 'desiring sex' with every person of their own gender. DAMN, that is not true. We might have had a few 'crushes' on friends during our lives...........My first 'girl crush' was in eighth grade, and ONLY FIVE girls/women have ever been the 'one' on whom I had a 'heart crush' and wished to be close as friends; I never understood those 'girl crushes' as a girl, only as a grown woman did I finally understand. Gay men and lesbians do not push their 'crush' onto the dear friend whom their heart wishes could be available to them; So of the thousands of girls and women I've known since puberty, I've only wished for a romantic relationship with FIVE. So, please don't doubt the integrity of your gay and lesbian acquaintances. By the way, the eighth grade girl I had a crush on, is still a dear friend; she saves me a place at her table for our Class Reunion every ten years back in my hometown; and, I have told her she was my very first 'girl crush'..........she just smiled; and is still my friend. The anti-gay christians have led me to become an atheist; how can I trust their god to accept me if his believers don't. They defy their church by adultery and divorce (I was often propositioned by the pastor of my church back in my younger not "out" days...what a joke!!;) yet they have no place for homosexuals; how many will find, not a heaven, but a hell on that other side? I wonder as I've seen them all my life, change their doctrine and rules to fit the changes in society, culture, mores. . |
| A TRULY AWFUL BOSS: I was treated unfairly, greatly wronged, but could do nothing to prevent the Catholic Sister Patricia Vandenburg, A Holy Cross nun, from being so ugly toward me that I always call her VandenBitch and have wished she faced a similar action, so devastating. I had worked for Chief Executive Officer VandenBitch for two years during which I had checked off each of the five items she wrote to me as "These are the things I want you to Accomplish" in whatever way is possible. The list including 'getting rid' of my assistant who wanted the Executive Director position to which I was hired. Others including ending a fundraising campaign that had lasted too long, adding certain prominent citizens as Board Members, and re-designing the annual Christmas fundraiser. She clearly indicated she wanted to make my position a "Vice President of" position and would soon do so. VandenBitch had been afraid, I guess, to fire the assistant for fear the woman could damage her reputation. When I knew that, I should have cancelled taking the position and stayed where I was making over $10,000 less. Instead, I took the higher paying position because, as a single mother of three, I needed the income. As it turned out, in firing her 'for cause', she did damage my reputation at the Holy Cross hospital. During those two years, I more than completed her five tasks. Most of all, I changed the Christmas fundraiser from a previous annual loss of over $6000 to one that earned $78,000 and was set to raise over $100,000 per year thereafter. At the time I applied to VandenBitch for the fundraising executive director, I had serious joint pain, diagnosed as rheumatoid arthritis, and my feet and hips were very painful, so I wore western cowboy boots. The boots held my foot tightly and my hips at the right angle to reduce the various pain. From the day in the 1970's when nice pantsuits were available for women who preferred to wear pants/trousers, instead of dresses, to church, work and even funerals, I wore pantsuits. I had them in black, navy, baby blue, rose, lavender, and other. They fit my style, personality and desires. And the slacks allowed me to wear the western boots to prevent pain in my feet and hips. So, the day I appeared in VandenBitch's office for the first and only interview, I wore my bright red wool jacket, white slacks and my cowboy boots. I wanted her to know how I dressed and how I would dress if employed by her. At the job, I did my best which was the best among my peers in the state who dubbed me "the Dean of fundraising". How's that for respect. After the second Christmas event was so great, VandenBitch called me in. She knew I had done well at overseeing my new assistant in making the fundraising efforts, the Christmas event, the golf tournament, and all. She knew I had done her five things well. Then she told me, "You don't fit in" and terminated me. No other reason was given. She was a nun who was trying so hard to be equal to the CEO's in the Chamber of Commerce yet didn't know how to dress for a dinner at a CEO's home; women said she wore a print cotton dress for that Christmas event. So what did she know about 'fitting in'? I went on to be a Consultant in fundraising and grantwriting and worked with hospitals and school districts all over the state until retirement. I went back to my office and mailed a letter to all my Board members about her firing me for "not fitting in". After I was gone, many of them resigned from the Board and, as community leaders, they sent me encouragement and gave me hugs when they saw me during following years. They respected me and had seen my successful work personally. She got replaced soon after she terminated me. There is one thing that makes me wonder about the true reason she terminated me for "not fitting in": I asked if it was because of how I dressed; she said "you dress too imformally". I reminded her of how I was dressed the day she interviewed and hired me. She acknowledged that and never mentioned my dress style those two years. You see I was NOT out as lesbian and I never went to a private dinner with VandenBitch, but my assistant did, (I had learned my assistant was niece of the hospital's Board Chairman). She had bragged to me that VandenBitch had "beer and pizza with her". I've always believed both my assistant and the CEO had a lesbian affair going on; thus I was put out of the way so she could give MY ASSistant my job, a higher salary and the title "Vice President." Within three months, she was pulled from that position by either her hospital Board or her nun superiors. I always thought it humorous that her replacement was named "Sister Beverly Ann" because my name is "Beverly Ann". Before and after her, I worked for Sisters of Mercy, nuns who lived their deep faith in Christ-like ways. The one who was CEO hired me twice, once at the hospital where she was CEO and another statewide housing program where she was also CEO. She and I were friends and continued to communicate after I did come out as a lesbian; to me she was a saint although in her true humility, she would say not. I write about her in this paragraph so you, my reader, know I have not been against Catholics during my life. ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" DAY 625 November 21, 2015 Prompt: When you were a kid, did you want to have the same job or a different job than your parents when you grew up? I was born in 1938 as the Great Depression was ending and World War II was beginning. My parents had not had the privilege of college nor well paying jobs. I had the privilege of being the first of both paternal and maternal generations to be a College Graduate. Therefore, I had new opportunities which my parents never imagined. As schoolteacher and an Executive of numerous nonprofits and wonderful State of Idaho positions working to make America a better place to live, yes, I lived in the best of times, my parents did not. Ann |
| Pick three people here on WDC who inspire you, and write a couple sentences about them. I Love WDC! Cissy❤  Elle - on hiatus  Cinn Mina~ Ten years of membership here at Writing.com and there have been different members each year who have touched my life by their encouragement and recognition of my writing. A.J.Lyle and Kiyasama and others who encouraged me in my early writings about lesbians and gays for the purpose of encouraging acceptance through creating understanding of lives lived the same on planet earth. There have been encouragers every year yet this past year three members have influenced my life through beyond the norm encouragement and appreciation. On is I Love WDC! Cissy❤ whose Native American First Peoples Academy was a wonderful experience of learning about the First People who came to America and how they lived, what they believed, how they worshipped, and how they still do as Americans living on or off tribal reservations. Cissy, being one of them, has a marvelous way of teaching and encouraging new learning. Unfortunately, her health has greatly interfered with providing the next class for me and others, but she will return if it becomes humanely possible due to serious health issues. Cissy has become a dear friend beyond WDC whom I talk and laugh with often, from whom I learn humility and total kindness and acceptance although we may never meet in person.}Mina~ as Mina from Bangledesh is a delightful young woman who amazes me by her courage in writing Poetry in English as her Second Language and our friendship is based on an experience as student and teacher, friends of different countries and different ages who 'click' as 'buddies' here at WDC where one day, I reviewed an item of hers with a couple of basic lessons about verbs and predicates. From then, our friendship has developed and we share about our lives as well as mini-lessons when she asks me to give a bit of guidance regarding English which is an extremely difficult language to learn. Every day Mina and I exchange gentle conversation and reviews.Elle - on hiatus is my WDC friend through all the activities we join in here; I admire her seemingly effortlessness in doing so many wonderful activities here and especially for her leadership in various groups of which I am a part. Elle has the kind of friendliness and energy my daughter has and I love that about her. Our letters to each other as Snail Mail Forum members are filled with normal everyday life with our families and life itself. If I were younger I'd say Elle's like a sister to me, but I'll let her take her time before being old enough to be my sister. A true and dear friend through writing.com with whom I'd love to sit with across a table with a cup of tea or on the front porch near my flower garden for a very loooooong chat. Cinn is the most unbelievable woman I've ever met.........talking with her is like sitting in the lawn chairs with a glass in hand and talking seriously, laughing often, solving the world's problems, creating a new world, deciding what to do with the old, learning again about poets of olde...............well, never have I enjoyed long visits on the phone or short talks on WDC or laughter with anyone as I have with her; she never makes me feel like I'm her grandmother's age or of another generation..........just one to one friendship peppered with laughter and reading poetry..........WHAT A FRIEND!! |
Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" Day 462 June 10, 2015 Prompt: Well behaved women seldom make history. Do you agree? I do not agree. The term "well behaved" implies "depraved" as the opposite with the hint that only prostitutes, murderesses, and similar women 'make history'. Not true, however, I do know that most women doing the SAME actions and work as men, seldom get acknowledged. Women used computers before men but aren't famous for the work they did using computers. Women mapped the stars in the skies without the assistance of men, yet they are never acknowledged. Women fought in the wars, were courageous in dangerous situations including piloting airplanes, but are never acknowledged. Women work in science research but are never acknowledged. Women have been great orators but only two political women have been known in 20th Century for their speeches. Women are professors, physicians, researchers, pilots, warriors in battle, on and on, women, good women, well behaved women are contributing this very day; some will make history; however, I can't think of any recent 'not behaved' women who are making history. One "well behaved" woman was recognized by Time Magazine which named her "one of the most influential people in 2015. In 2003, nineteen year old Elizabeth Holmes, founded and became CEO of theranos a blood analyst company now worth nine billion dollars. She is the youngest, self-made female billionaire in the world. founder and CEO in America. Her company has developed simple blood tests for early detection of dozens of diseases. I would just like for history to credit women for all the things they did in the past and will do in the future that men took full recognition, salary and credit for. Will it ever happen? No, because men will always make damn sure they get the recognition just as they always have. Give us more Eleanor Roosevelts, Senator Barbara Jordan instead of men who did and do less than women do or did. At the same time, the women who have done the work earned less than the men who took the credit. I know for I was one of them and had three children to support alone. Damn them anyway. ANN |
| "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" DAY 461, June 9, 2015 Prompt: On February 16, 1923 King Tut’s Burial Chamber was opened. How would you feel at this time if you knew that your grave would be opened and you would be put on exhibit in the year 3599? Do you agree with this practice, be it in the name of historical research? Historical research, yes it seems appropriate. Normal people buried a few centuries ago? Not much for that. What could they learn? They would learn about embalming and how beautifully the skeleton is dressed. Not much else about modern mankind. There's certainly nothing my skeleton in a coffin would teach them about 20th and 21st century life there. They wouldn't know my faith, my lifestyle, my wealth or lack thereof, my beauty, but maybe my illness such as the crooked little fingers being permanently crooked because my ancestors lived in caves in the European continent or Great Britain, or my deformed third finger for the same reason. Then they'd dump my remains back in some hold and rebury the coffin if it hasn't totally discentegrted. Why do it? :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: "Blogging Circle of Friends " DAY 936 Tuesday June 9, 2015 I know all of us at one point in our life have had those moments, share with us about someone responding in a literal way to a figurative expression. Or create a story of your own. Here at WDC today, one WDCer was telling us to "spoil" a member by doing many good things. The instructions I was given was "SOIL her"..........oops, a baby SOILS its diaper, but for me to "SOIL a member" OMG!! That would be BAD. Whether written or spoken, one word can have different meanings just by leaving out a letter or adding a letter. OOPS!! |
"Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" DAY 460, June 8, 2015 Prompt: From a book description: “In the belief of the Gond tribe [in India], the lives of humans and trees are closely entwined. Trees contain the cosmos; when night falls, the spirits they nurture glimmer into life.” Have you ever watched the trees at night, and can you imagine if they have a night life and which secrets they are hiding? Trees are life to the world They keep the world alive providing shade in sunshine, moisture through the night, protection for wildlife cool shade for weary travelers prevent dry lonely deserts beauty for our eyes to see sometimes flowery blooms always life to the world every day their leaves unfurl. What are their secrets through the night? Who are the angels living in them? While we cannot know secrets and spirits, we can believe and trust they're good and always helping trees as they should. |
| "Blogging Circle of Friends " Day 928 June 2, 2015 Prompt : I'm reminded of a great truth in life, We're all struggling down our life paths. Nobody has it easy in life. You can take any five people, for example, and in the group have: it's your story to tell. Inquiring minds are curious what story you will share about those five people. Well, I think I'd listen to other's sharing then choose to tell something related; if they spoke of sorrow and sadness, I'd have a story. If they spoke of life decisions, I'd tell about the most significant life decision I've made. If they spoke of their children, I'd speak of mine; primarily about my grandchildren's visits with five of them in the yard playing along with 14 neighborhood children; if it were about their grown kids, I'd talk about my son who served 26 years in the military and how he now works for USAF designing and constructing ways to protect this nation from outside military damage; If they spoke of religion, I'd tell why I quit going to church and allowing myself to be under the influence of an autocratic preacher; etc. We never know how a conversation among five people might go. I do believe it would be a great conversation, especially if it were five of my writing.com friends; The one thing I do know, such a group would be talking for hours into the night and early morning :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" Day 455—June 2, 2015 Prompt: “When you’re awake, you know you’re awake. But when you aren’t, you don’t know you aren’t. The question is, how do you know you exist?” by Maria Popova in Brain Pickings Write whatever you wish about this, through any form, style, genre, fiction, non-fiction or poetry. Philosophers through the centuries pose fascinating questions to which people respond with stories of life, births, deaths, creation. sharing great ideas, thoughts, brilliant with concepts only a few can imagine. How do you know you, or anything is or ain't real or alive in this world? Do you exist or are you just a figment of imagination, perhaps a hologram that can disappear, or a stone which cannot move, or destruction of a group of atoms. So have a beer and toast to the reality which you are. Pinch yourself. If it hurts, you exist; If it doesn't, don't worry; go to a bar and toast the reality of nonexistence. It doesn't matter what your proof is, Be who you are and all you can be to ensure that others never dismiss your presence in the world with life. |
| "Blogging Circle of Friends " DAY 927: Monday, June 1, 2015 Prompt: Write a story or poem about the full strawberry moon (It occurs on June 2 this year). Be creative and have fun. I have never heard the phrase "the full strawberry moon" so it would have been better if this prompt had been for June 2 or 3. I presume the term refers to 'blood moon' or some other word in the color of red. Since I don't know what a reddish moon means to earth beings, I'm still in the dark with or without a moon to see. •It's a full moon, meaning the earth lies between the sun and the moon so the complete surface of the moon is visible. •Each month's full moon has a name and a meaning, dating back to Native Americans. June's full moon is called the Strawberry Moon because the short season during which strawberries can be harvested happens in June. •However, strawberries aren't native in Europe. There, June's full moon is called the "Rose Moon." •June's full moon is also called a "Honey Moon" or a "Mead Moon" because its position is low in the sky (in our hemisphere at least) and the earth's atmosphere can give it a warm tint. Dark Nights On dark nights of the earth, the moon takes on a murderous face terrible and red as if in the wrong place although hanging high lost in space. On dark nights of the earth, the moon takes on the color of pink causing me to wonder if a bit of stink and crime is about to happen, I think. On dark nights of the earth, criminals and angry men get mean now about that I'm not very keen and would not want to be in the scene. On dark nights of the earth, the bloody strawberry phase of the moon would never encourage lovers to croon for a song might make babies too soon. On dark nights of the earth, when the moon changes to pink or red would be a time to fear what you dread stay sane and understand or you're dead. On dark nights of the earth, I never celebrate with mirth. :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: |
| "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" Day 452 May 30, 2015 Everyone at one point in their life has a difficult conversations, some go well - some not so well. Think about a conversation you've had that you really wish you could have a do over? Tell us about it what you would do different? My relevant conversations happened long ago before I retired; the most difficult conversations are when the boss calls you into her office. The boss who always made conversations difficult is still on my Three most hated list with a gossiper at work, a daughter in law who stole away my visitations with my grandchildren and that boss who always fired her good people, you 'yes mam' people, as soon as they had accomplished the goals she set for their first three years. I reached all those goals then she fired me saying "you don't fit it" and later I met two other great people whom she had treated the same way. It was funny, my last visit with the bitch, I just happened to be wearing the jacket on which my pin: "Nobody's Perfect" that day and she referenced it as if I had worn it because I might be meeting with her for the last time. The conversation with the "three bitches" could go no further than the bitch wanted it too. By the way, two months later she was fired by her Catholic Sisters organization and shipped to an unknown job where she couldn't work with folks outside the Catholic Sisters of St. Alphonsos organization. I guess she learned she wasn't "perfect" as she thought she was; same with the other two bitches on my hate list; everyone else in my life has been just fine and without power over me. ann ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: "Blogging Circle of Friends " Day 926 May 30, 2015 Prompt: With summer around the corner, inquiring minds would like to know, what are your favorite summer activities? Do you have anything special planned this year? This is not the year to have summer plans. I'm living alone now while my wife Molly, is 3 hours drive away living with her 92 yr old mother until her death because she had flu and a TIA small stroke at Christmas. So visiting them every couple of months, while we wait for death which will then be tremendous loss for Molly and I. So my summer is being alone, keeping my house yard and flower garden looking good plus periodic visits to see my sweetheart with whom I have had sixteen wonderful years and expect many more, the good Lord willing and the creek don't rise". Ann |
| DAY 924: Thursday, May 28, 2015 Prompt: If we listened to our intellect, we'd never have a love affair. We'd never have a friendship. We'd never go into business, because we'd be cynical. Well, that's nonsense. You've got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down. Ray Bradbury Do you agree or disagree I don't agree about the 'intellect' but do agree with Bradbury: Being intellectual, even brilliant, doesn't mean we are cynical. I am not, never have been, neither is my son with 135 IQ. If anything, I believe the opposite. When we have the knowledge to understand human beings and how their mind and personality work, we'll be more apt to trust them as well as our feelings so friendships, love, business people and activities would be welcomed. Just because cats as pets or feral, are careful about friendships with people and other critters, humans don't have to be unless that is their normal personality: to be wary about people, wary of trusting and wary of loving. Yes, we take chances of having a broken heart or unfaithful friend or business partner, but that's life not cynicism. ANN ::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" Day 450 May 28, 2015 Prompt: "A person who has not done one half a day's work by ten o'clock runs a chance of leaving the other half undone." Emily Bronte Do you agree? You have to first realize the time of Emily Bronte: no electricity; real olden days without all the things we use nowadays such as lights all night long, vacuum cleaners and other electrical items at home plus all the changes in all workplaces. Now is a very different time. Back then it was important to get the work done quickly especially on short winter days. Now the workday has no ending except as an individual chooses. Big difference. Now, a ten o'clock is still near the beginning of a work day/shift and all the machines and technology have sped up all work so there's plenty of time to get all the work finished after the morning 10:00 break. And, we can do more in any single hour than back then. I'd like to live as slowly as we did back then. ann |
| "Blogging Circle of Friends " DAY 922 May 26, 2015 I met a writer recently, an exuberant lovely woman who shared with me her "genius dance." She said, whenever she got something just right, exactly right she rose from her chair and spun in a circle chanting "genius...genius." I was really amused. What do you do when you have that just right moment of triumph? I created my writings into books at createspace.com where there are no co$ts until ready to buy a book. The day that first novel arrived, so beautiful, my own words, all 308 pages I had written; I was EXICITED!! Started jumping around, dancing, celebrating, "I'm a writer, really a writer. WoW!!" When I settled down, I got out my pen and began to Proof those 308 pages with joyful glee; just me and my two doggies and a cat. I'm sure they thought I was 'plumb loco'. Maybe I was because I was so proud. Now I have 13 books for sale on Amazon and Kindle, checks dropping into my bank account every month. For self publishing just to have my writings to give to my grandkids and great grandkids after my death, I'll keep using createspace.com. I do the preparation work and they print the books so they cost me very little. You see, I set the prices when I posted them at Amazon and Kindle for sale around the world. Ann }::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::: of "Blog City ~ Every Blogger's Paradise" DAY 448--May 26, 2015 Prompt: Some people apologize for everything, whether an apology is needed or not. When and under which conditions, do you think, an apology should be necessary? Anyone who hurts or slanders another person with anger and discontent OWES the person an apology. Strong people apologize when they know in their heart they were wrong. They will apologize. Weak people won't apologize for anything they do or they apologize for everything they do. Wisdom and compassion belong to the strong person who blesses others by their humanity. ann ::::::::::::::::::::::: |
| DAY 921: Monday, May 25, 2015 Prompt: Write a tribute, either in prose or poetry, to a woman or a man you consider a hero. The person can be either living or dead in any century. Tell us why you think this person is a hero. My Son, a Hero Set his sights at age of ten Determined to serve, to fly; Spoken often of desire, “Air Force for me; to fly.” A year of college then time To join to serve his way, Learned soon, cannot fly Certain problems with eyes. “I’ll serve any way I can, Though I wanted to fly.” Gone from home years And years; twenty six Before arriving home To be with grown son, And still more work ahead Serving still, the Air Force Way as consultant there Today, giving the best he can Day after day, to serve more years His nation’s protective technology. Dedicated to my son, still serving to protect this nation. |
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