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Writing about what I have been reading and encountering in the media. |
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WELCOME TO MY BLOG! I comment on things I am reading, thinking about, encountering in media, and spiritual issues. I hope you will find something interesting. PS. I love feedback... |
| Dear Sandra Bland, I hear your sister, your family attorney, and some others interviewed on TV speaking carefully, with excellent reasoning, on your behalf. I hear the voices of the Texas people in the town where you arrived as a stranger claiming you were “mental,” using pot, and that you killed yourself. Some are saying a suicide could be the result of a drug reaction due to lack of a prescription drug. The talk goes on. Since your death, concern about what happened to you has been constant in the media. The video of your arrest is played over and over. Any resistance that I had to hurting over your pain is long gone. Today, I remember being stopped a few months ago by a state police officer. When I asked why I was being stopped. The answer he gave was “a white SUV drove by me speeding. I thought it might have been you.” That did not sound reasonable to me. It frightened me. He looked at my license and insurance verification and let me go. The fear stayed with me. That fear is reaching out to your fear, identifying, changing my heart rate and respiration, and longing to give you back your heart beat, your respiration, and I can’t. I can’t help you. I can’t protect you. I can’t protect your family, your friends. I can’t protect the people who were prepared to welcome you to your new job. I can’t protect your community. I know the difference between my stop and your stop is very small. I wish the outcome was equally small. This is a futile wish. I am lost in futility wishing to help you. I hope there are many all over our nation feeling what I am feeling about you and those many, many others deep in the sadness of mistreatment and death related to injustice. I hope people all over joining their voices to speak up on your behalf will soon be heard and heeded. I pray for peace to fill your soul. I pray the love being expressed for you by so many is filling your ears. They are playing “Strange Fruit” on your behalf. I hope you can hear as your voice is amplified and the effort to create justice is strengthened. Thank you for the gifts you gave. With deepest respect, Elizabeth Hykes |
| Yesterday, I taught a chapter about doing therapy from a Social Constructivist perspective. I don’t know how many of my readers know what Social Constructivism is, so I offer a brief definition: we construct meaning socially, through verbal communication. Because this perspective defines the origin of meaning as a present activity, meaning is seen as malleable, and connected directly to the social context that defined it. This perspective fascinates me. It seems very right and true as a result of conversations I have had in the past about it. Those conversations were not only with people, but also with books, and with myself. As I write this, I am conversing with myself and with an imaginary “you.” Of course, you know you are not imaginary, but my conversation is with the “you” in my head, and only becomes a conversation with the “you” made of matter when you read what I wrote. I don’t want to talk here about how these philosophical constructs relate to therapy. I want to apply them to the issue of the Confederate Flag. As a nation, many, many people are having conversation about the meaning of the Confederate flag and the implications that meaning has for its display. This conversation is aimed at constructing a common meaning that we can all share. It has become salient that there does not now exist a common meaning. We share awareness of the origins of the flag in the secession from the Union by the states that organized themselves as the Confederacy. Until this conversation, I did not know the flag was a battle flag for Robert E. Lee’s regiment rather than the official flag of the Confederacy. I did not know the origins of the symbols as written by the flag’s creator. It appears to me that relatively few people knew any of this. Wisely, people looked it up and shared freely through electronic and print media. Since that sharing, other descriptions of the meaning of the flag have been circulated as freely. I don’t know the origin of these detailed accounts, but I do know that those circulating them seem to hold this as their meaning. The discussion seems to have boiled down to the question: “Is this flag representing slavery and racial oppression, or is it representing dedication to Christian and patriotic intentions?” I have no information that suggests any impending resolution of the problem. I think people have a real opportunity to redefine the flag for themselves, but they can’t redefine it for someone else who already has another meaning. The resolution will come from the conversation. How long will that take? Well, so far, it has taken 150 years or so. The fact is, there are many meanings for this one symbol that are deeply held. One of the characteristics of meaning, according to the Constructivist thinkers, is resistance to change. We certainly are seeing this in the current conversation. One of the many meanings contributing to the discussion is a widely held perspective that symbols have absolute meanings, and that there a thing called “absolute truth,” and an “absolute right.” These meanings are especially resistant to change. There is a kind of thinking behind these ideas that has been taught in American schools for a very long time called “scientific reasoning” or “the scientific method.” The constructivist view challenges some of the major meanings or beliefs of science. This is the depth of meaning involved in the discussion of the Confederate flag. I see no end to the issue on the horizon. I wonder how long it will take to develop a common meaning. I wonder if it is even possible. However, another characteristic of meaning is that discomfort is necessary for change to take place. We seem to be having plenty of that, so perhaps, it can happen now. I guess we shall see. It is interesting to watch, and more interesting to participate. Speak your mind on the subject. Speak freely, as the other flag, that of the United States of America stands for freedom of speech. This is a viable meaning as speech is necessary for growth in response to change. Remember, listening and working at understanding matter at least as much, if not more than speaking in developing viable meaning. |
| Five people dead. The gun people say “they should have been armed.” The press says “one of the dead was armed.” As details are revealed, the press attributes the following information to the shooter’s family: the shooter was spiraling into a place of hopelessness and irresponsibility with a lethal combination of depression with suicidal ideation and substance abuse. In the past, some have said that pointing out mental illness is a way to excuse the behavior. My thoughts on the subject focus first on the intense sadness I see in those directly affected by the tragedy. My heart goes out to the families of the victims and especially to the family of the shooter. None of those people had any power to change the course of events. Had the families of the victims armed their children, an unexpected shooter had the element of surprise and at least some would have been shot anyway. A gun is not armor. The family of the shooter had no legal control over an adult son who was falling apart. There is very limited legal support for healthy people who recognize the decline of a loved one to stop that decline. We are a country that values the right of the individual over the well-being of the many. We can see a shooter forming, but like a tornado, we can’t stop it, nor can we publicly warn people. This is how our laws are structured. The family of the shooter will live with the shame of his behavior, even though it is not their responsibility, and will have to work very hard at their own sanity to cope. As a mental health professional, I can tell you that even the people who specialize in recognizing and helping people who find themselves in a “shooter cycle” have limited options. If the budding shooter denies thoughts of harm to self or others, no one can read his/her mind and know the intent is there. If the shooter is fighting the urge and admits to the problem, options remain limited. Witness the Colorado theater shooter found guilty last week of that shooting. The therapist did initiate a process to intervene, as I understand it, and that didn’t stop him. In addition, we are determined to function as if individual behavior occurs in isolation from, and is totally independent of, the larger social context. As a professional Social Worker, I cannot think that way. I am too deeply aware of social context of human behavior to see individuals as solely responsible for tragic choices. This young man was a member of a small minority that has been vilified both officially and unofficially in the US: immigrant middle eastern Muslims. He didn’t put himself in that position. He is described as a devout, gentle person. In addition he could be described as a vulnerable young man receiving constant mixed messages about his value to his community, and mixed information about how to make sense of his own traditions. Who knows how many insults he experienced growing up in a nation at war with the society from which his family emigrated? We live in a cyclonic social situation made up of many conflicts, in which vulnerable young people have trouble finding a safe place for their emotional and spiritual development. People are armed without restraint, and shooting is a highly valued skill with few “appropriate” ways to use the skill. We are teaching hunting skills where there is no prey, and teaching military skills to people who will never be in the military because they are not healthy enough. Our social attempts to combat racism and ethnic prejudice are feeble in many places and contradicted by other powerful forces. The problem is so complex it will take years to solve it. In addition, other problems that threaten our very existence draw energy and attention away from this one. I do believe that we could make significant headway by putting limits on gun ownership, and buying back guns that are not needed. |
| I have questions: Who says Texans fear this? Who started this incredible rumor? Who is believing the rumor is based on fact? In my work as a therapist, I learned that “the flip side to every fear is a wish.” This means our own wishes define our fears. So whose wish is behind this rumor and what is the wish? Then, what is the underlying wish of the people who believe the rumor? I suspect these are different wishes. I am as capable as the next person of creating a fantasy on this subject but that won’t help me understand what is really going on. A friend suggests to me “it is kind of a combination of the Civil War and the Apocalypse. Maybe the Hispanic Texans have petitioned the US government to come and save them. Then, maybe not.” The one thing that is clear to me is the emotionality of the situation appears to not be informed by reason. It seems to me the media are publicizing this fear for their own reasons. One news source is laughing at their perception of absurdity in the story. Another news source reports this with obvious puzzlement. A third news source reports it as if there is really something to fear. No matter which perspective the media takes, it is and interesting story and distracts attention from real news about problems at the border and Texas reactions, official and unofficial. To those who are reading this, join in the fun with those who see this as absurd and please realize it is about racism and manipulation of the poorly educated and poorly informed. Then return your attention to the real problems we need to solve as voters. {image # 1445398} |
| Thinking more about the ant research (please refer to yesterday's posting for background information): perhaps the ants only do that when they have paint on them. Maybe they would prefer t-shirts, or toupees. Yes, I think I will do a kickstarter project to raise money to give the little guys toupees, like Donald Trump! If that doesn't convert ants to the Democratic Party, I don't know what will. |
| On NPR yesterday, I heard an interview with an entomologist about recent ant research. As I remember it, the researchers briefly anesthetized ants and painted different colors on their backs with fine bristled brushes. This permitted tracking individual behavior. Observations revealed a large portion of the ant colony do nothing. They are still. Observers expect this serves some function for the colony, but to date, don’t know what function. Fascinating! It makes me want to get one of those ant farms we had as kids and paint the little buggers bums and watch. Perhaps, it would be equally interesting to observe the scientists, sitting perfectly still, wearing t-shirts with different colors and numbers apparently doing nothing as they observe the ants. I can see the previous paragraph as a prose poem. At this point, poetry may be the most productive approach to the problem as it opens thought processes enhancing creativity. We often talk about creativity as a trait and a creation is seen as the product of the trait in action. What if inaction is actually the essential foundation of creativity? What if those ants that are still are the artists? What if they are a huge choir singing their hearts out in some very high frequency energy we have yet to discover in connection to ants? What if they generate ant poetry as a communal activity rather than the solitary context in which much, probably most human poetry emerges? What if creativity is not a trait, but is instead a form of energy available to and utilized by all living things like light and sound? Perhaps they pray. It is clear to me that some basic assumptions about labor, about community organization and about how community gets expressed may be challenged by this extraordinary human activity of placing team member IDs on the backs of ants. Perhaps we will discover that it would be much to our advantage to have human individuals sitting on the sidelines. The fact is, we have long set aside people as priests, monks and nuns for the very purpose of reflection and attention to the invisible force we call spirit. We have excluded people designated as outsiders, but then in emergencies, turned to them for help as the USA did with African Americans during WWII. Obviously, I will not know any more by asking these questions than I did before. I eagerly await news of the ongoing research project with ants. While I’m waiting, I wonder what would happen if I paint the various letters in my writing and watch to see what happens. They seem very still….. |
| A wise therapist, Dr. John Small, once said to me “trust the process.” We discussed that, what it means, and he said it over and over as long as he was my teacher. Today, on Global Spirit (7/8/15, Link TV) a Sufi teacher said “A real question opens one’s heart and mind and makes one come alive. The question is more important than the answer. It is a process rather than a location.” He said this in a discussion titled “What is God?” The interviewees agreed that real pain is separation from the creator and its relief is found in reconnecting. As I understand it, they suggest that compassion is needed to restore that connection. Later in the discussion, someone said; “Compassion only exists in relationship to suffering. Opposition is necessary for the real creation to take place. We need both the opposition and help to deal with the struggle.” My impression after listening to this discussion is, Suffering is separation from God. Without suffering, we would not notice our need to be one with our creator. Without separation from our creator, we would be unable to understand suffering. Compassion is learning how to reconnect by reaching out to assist in someone else’s suffering. Sitting with our own pain opens our spirit to grace and to our need to connect with others. As a young Lutheran child, I sometimes attended church with my maternal grandparents. They took great pleasure in taking me with them and exhibited pride in me when they introduced me to their friends. They taught me how to use the hymnal, when to stand and sit, and the importance of doing the rituals together. This was very positive. It felt good to be with them, to have them teach me, to be treated as though I was special and important. When I was not with them, when I was in my ordinary daily life with my parents and brothers, neighbors and friends, and school, I often felt differently than when I was in church with them. I often felt separate, like an outsider. I developed an image of myself that described the feeling of separateness. I saw myself as an eye embedded in the earth, watching all that was within range of my vision, unable to interact or participate in any way. I wanted to see, but also, I wanted to participate. The rituals of church helped with that, but as I matured in my spiritual life, I needed more than ritual. I decided as a young adolescent, around age 12 or 13 to talk to my pastor about this. Developmentally, it is normal to have spiritual awakening, new spiritual questions at that age. In the Bible, Jesus separated from his family while traveling and sat with the priests. So, I went to my Pastor and told him I wanted to be a minister. His response was that I couldn’t because I am female. Boom! There I was back in my eye with power only to see, but not participate. Another adolescent trait, all or nothing thinking. This challenge, this experience of separateness was not going to be fixed by ordination. I had to learn something else. And so, I became a Social Worker. For me, it was not a career choice alone. It was entering into a process to resolve my spiritual separateness. The conversation today clarified something for me. Since Social Work is not a religious activity, how did it serve to help me with my spiritual need? It is the central role of compassion in Social Work that addresses the spiritual need for connection, not so much with others, as you might think, but with the creator. However, it is much more than that too. Watching and participating in healing is such a wonderful thing. I can’t imagine anything more wonderful than that. Healing is the entry of grace into the being that receives it. Healing is not limited to humans, but instead, is universal among living things, and perhaps in the mineral world as well. I have never reached a stopping place with this process. I cannot imagine a stopping place exists. In this way, I agree that the process is all there is, and, that in trusting it, I can participate in healing and through this, receive grace. |
| When I was a child, I always had my own money because I delivered newspapers. My parents let me figure out for myself how to manage my earnings. At age 5, when I started with a 3 person route, I spent much, if not all of my $.52 per week income in the variety store and a lot of it went to penny candy. Over time, I realized there were other things I wanted and changed my habits. I even participated in buying my own Saxophone on time paying $5.00 a month to my dad who added to it and paid the store. There came a time when lending became an issue. I no longer remember the specific event, but I loaned someone something and didn’t get paid back. I made a rule for myself: “only loan money you can afford to do without.” I have stuck to that rule with good outcome. Some people repay and some don’t and I am okay either way because I made a clear decision about loaning in the first place. So, when we had the 2008 banking crisis, it was pretty clear to me that the banks had made bad choices about loaning. Now, the EU is facing another banking crisis with Greece. Portugal and Spain are watching. So, I found the following article very interesting: “GREECE JUST TAUGHT CAPITALISTS A LESSON ABOUT WHAT CAPITALISM REALLY MEANS” by JIM EDWARDS Jul. 5, 2015, in Business Insider Mr. Edwards reports this situation is the result of the public European bank taking on Goldman Sachs’ private bad debt with Greece and making it a public loan. The article talks about how debt works in a capitalist economy. It is good information and worth considering as an American voter concerned about the government relationship to private banking. Mr. Edwards points out that loans are “risks” betting that the borrower will pay it back, but in this case, the loans were made with evidence that Greece would be unable to pay it back. It does not mention the forces that motivated the bank to make the loans in the first place and actually makes Goldman Sachs look pretty stupid. Then, when the EU took on the debt, they also had ample evidence that Greece could not pay it back. Germany spearheaded efforts to cause re-structuring of the Greek economy, but these didn’t work because the economy is based entirely on small business, unlike the German economy. I suspect there is very interesting back story to be had. In any case, I liked the article for its explanation of risk and lending in capitalism. The EU has a mixture of economies with various levels of Socialism in their various Democracies. They could describe the problem from a more socialist perspective, but it is often described from a capitalist perspective. This tug of war over what priority to place on the public good and how to handle the responsibility for the public good has been a part of human organization from the beginning of time. I wish we could be more rational about it. I wish we had access to more public debate in the media without emotional outbursts and people talking over each other on the topic. I suspect this drama, too, is something that will always be present in our society. Meanwhile, socialist, social democratic, and capitalistic organizations alike must come to grips with the problem of risk in lending, and balancing this with the public good in order to have a healthy economy. It isn’t easy, and we, the average voters struggle to understand any of it. Happy reading, everyone! |
| “We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.” It is a pleasure to ponder this brief statement of intention on this Independence Day. It is a pleasure to say I am part of the We who are The People of the United States of America. It’s not pride so much as comfort that I have a home among people who want to work together to achieve such lofty goals. It is with gratitude that I acknowledge just how difficult this work is and has been for the past 236+ years. I also acknowledge with gratitude that each citizen, past and present has and continues to contribute in one way or another to the effort. We have smaller groups with whom we identify, families, people with common interests, fellow workers, people like us, and each of these groups works in one way or another toward these goals. We want to show our gratitude, but no matter how hard we try, it seems someone gets left out. So my goal with this writing is to publish a huge Thank You Everybody in America for doing your part. I hope you have each had a pleasant moment reflecting on your citizenship today. |
| About the book, Our Souls at Night, by Kent Haruf, Alfred A. Knopf, New York, 2015. This is the final work of Kent Haruf as he has passed on. I had not heard of him, but was browsing in Barnes & Noble and read on the back of the book that Ursula Le Guin recommended the book, I figured it would be worth reading. It turned out to be a good choice. In this novel, the author presents two main characters, both widowed, who have lived in the same neighborhood for most of their adult lives. It opens with Addie Moore visiting Louis Waters, whom she hardly knows, though she knew his wife, with an interesting proposition to cope with the loneliness of old age and widowhood. The book tells the story of the results of the choice they both make in very simple language. Along the way, their adult children enter, a 6 year old grandson, and some interactions with neighbors. This book reminds me of The Bridges of Madison County, the first novel in a trilogy by Robert James Waller, published in 1992. Like Our Souls at Night, Mr. Waller’s story is a compelling, down to earth romance, and, as I recall, has a similar style. I was also reminded of a clinical book I read some years ago, Stories That Heal: Reparenting Adult Children of Dysfunctional Families Using Hypnotic Stories in Psychotherapy by Lee Wallas, W.W. Norton & Co. 1991. Wallas presents a clinical approach of using stories during a period of deep relaxation in the therapy room to help clients heal from trauma. Wallas makes use of the suggestibility common in people with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder originating from child abuse as a strength, or ally, in the healing process. With this approach, therapist prompts client into relaxation using a focusing protocol, and when the client is fully relaxed, the therapist uses guided imagery, the same one each time, followed by a new short story. Each story is a brief description of appropriate parenting starting with pregnancy and moving through childhood. Wallas’s writing style in the healing stories is very similar to Kent Haruf’s style, and so, Our Souls at Night has a mildly suggestive quality, presenting pictures of true intimacy between two 70+year olds. As such, it is excellent bedtime reading. The images are compelling enough that I awakened this morning with my first thoughts focusing on the book. When that happens, I think I have found something truly worth reading. |
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