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 |   A blog about my struggles and victories as a mother with all boys. |
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I was thinking about creating an off-site blog but I thought, why? I wouldn't be getting input from people who know me or that I have a connection with. This is going to be my real attempt at blogging. A little about me and what this blog is about: I am 33 years old and a mother of three boys and there is a lot of stress that comes with the job. And mess. And love  . We live in a small town in Ohio and I love it. We visit big cities here and there and it's such a relief to come home to a place that is familiar. I have four siblings of my own and I am the oldest. My parents had four girls and on their last attempt had my brother. He is fifteen now and was diagnosed with autism at an early age. My mom always says he is her favorite and we can't complain about it  .I hope you enjoy my blog and feel free to share your parenting stories with me. ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Me and my sons, Maxwell, Elijah, and Oliver (Trinkets require an Upgrade to display.) (Trinkets require an Upgrade to display.)
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| I love to breastfeed. It makes me feel closer to my baby and its a great source of nutrition. The best that I can give my child. I have breastfed each one of my children until about the same time (around 6 months). With Oliver being my last baby I hope to go longer than that and do so exclusively. Today I experienced my first real problem. I have a plugged milk duct and oh boy does it hurt. I will admit it's my fault. I fed Oliver when he woke up this morning but he fell back to sleep before I switched to the other breast. Instead of pumping the other I just figured I would feed him on that side when he woke up again. Bad idea. So now I have a small lump under my left breast that is red and painful to the touch. There is not much to be done except making sure the breast is as empty as possible. Which means when my sweet baby is sleeping five hours at a time tonight I will have to wake myself up every two so I can pump and hopefully push this clog out before it becomes something more serious. On that note Maxwell and Eli have drifted off to Neverland and little Oliver is awake enjoying the quiet as much as I am. So the moral of the story is. When in doubt, pump. Don't be lazy about it because it can cause some pain and loss of sleep. |
Sleeping... All three of my children have a good sleep schedule (most of the time). Last night was not one of those nights for my oldest son, Maxwell. I usually get them up around 7 a.m. if they have school. When they don't they wake up around 8-8:30 every morning. Well, I worked last night and my dear husband allowed Maxwell to take a nap around 6:45. I could not wake him up for the life of me. So he was up at 3:30 a.m. and did not go back to sleep. Why they only do this on school nights I don't know but I only hope he is not a terror for his teachers today. He seemed in good spirits as he was getting on the bus. I am rather tired because he wouldn't leave me alone as I was trying to get another three hours of sleep until the baby woke up but it's okay coffee is my friend  |
| I had thought the title for my blog was a good one considering the two toddlers living underfoot. Now that there is a baby in the home, 'poop' seems to be a much more pressing issue. The first week or so, little Oliver had an issue of not pooping for two days then make up for it by having a poop explosion on the third. For those who don't have children or those who have forgotten, infant bowl movements are ever changing. The first poops are black and tar-like. About five hours after his birth, Oliver had cleaned out his little system (yay!) while I was changing him it just kept coming and coming. I would think he was done then he would surprise me with more. My two younger sisters were with me and honestly, it was a rather humorous situation. So, after the gross black poop comes a yellow/orange and rather 'seedy' look. Being a breastfeeding mother, the explosions that usually happen around this stage don't stain the clothes and the blankets that bad. In addition to the poop, my son has some bad gas. This isn't like cute little baby farts one would imagine, this is hard core ones that my husband thinks is coming from me. No dear, I am not putting blame on a baby. While he is comfortable when it comes out in either farts or burps, there are times it gets trapped and I can feel the gurgling of his little intestines. It surprises me that he is not a fussier baby. As for my other children, my oldest may be out of diapers but the accidents still happen...more poop problems. My middle child is in pull-ups. I guess I should be happy he doesn't take the poop out of his pull-up and smear it all over the walls like someone used to do (maxwell) *knock on wood*. In conclusion, more poop problems less mud problems.{e: |
| You hear about bullies everyday and the havoc they create. My area has a pledge called "Too Strong For Bullies". It's great really. There are so many kids who are emotionally and physically hurt by these children who don't know better, who have a rough home life and feel the need to act out, whatever the situation may be. I recently received a letter from Eli's teacher saying the following: "Eli was very excited to string letter beads and glue colored paper on his name.(Great!) He had a pretty difficult time following directions today and had to move his car to yellow for hitting.(Oh man) He was pretty upset when I told him I was going to have to tell mom. We'll keep working on this!(He knows right from wrong) Just wanted to let you know." I knew it was coming. My very headstrong little boy is letting his emotions take over in school. He is only three years old and in pre-school but he is by far my hardest child to control. He is not very gentle with his baby brother and has to constantly be reminded to be nice to him. We have had a couple instances where I walked out of the room with them both together and have decided to buy a harness so Oliver can be with me wherever I go. Eli just doesn't seem to understand he can hurt him. I'm not overly worried about this incident with Eli in school, Maxwell; who is my most calm child, had a day last year where he hit just about everyone including teachers. Now Eli can be a sweet boy, he likes to cuddle and give kisses but he enjoys it too much when he takes something away from someone else or when he 'wins' in wrestling. My mom tries to help me when she witnesses him acting out. Her favorite line is "don't yell". Well, when you try not yelling for twenty minutes and they think it's funny that you calmly sit them on the chair or the couch or the bed, you lose your patience and start to yell and threaten them with whatever you can come up with so they behave. Right now their favorite thing is the xbox my husband bought a week ago. They were grownded from it one night, probably for fighting, and they eventually went into their room and played until Eli took something away from Maxwell and ran away from him. It doesn't really help when Maxwell just gives up and starts crying and hitting either. So, this is something we are working on and let me tell you what, it's hard. I just hope I don't raise bullies. |
Empty Uterus Syndrome I did it three times, the morning sickness, the swollen ankles, the restless nights, followed by labor and delivery, midnight feedings, diaper changes. Then I realized it would all stop someday. I had experienced my last contractions, my last birthing, then all of a sudden my baby was a week old and his umbilical cord nub fell off. That was a hard day. My last baby was growing too fast, the days going by too quick and simultaneously, my life. Remembering ten months before the birth of my third and final child, I was as carefree as a mother with two toddlers could be. I would bring home a couple of beers after work and relax. I didn't feel like I was abandoning them when I left for work, and I was content with two. They would both be going to school and I would be free to do what I wanted while they were gone. I could go to the gym and get back into shape, I could go out to lunch with friends, all without worrying about bringing a kid, a diaper bag, and hopefully keep my sanity through what is always an adventure going out. The couple of days before finding out I was pregnant I would get an upset stomach and for some reason have a beer. My ache would go away and I was worrying I was becoming an alcoholic and my body needed the drink. Then, I missed my period and took a test at Kroger. At first my pregnancy wasn't in the forefront of my mind. Not until I heard his heart beat (after what felt like forever for my doctor to find, scaring me to death) and saw his growing form on the ultrasound machine. I had good health and gained the appropriate amount of weight and nurtured my body and baby with the healthy choices I was making in my diet. I felt the first kicks and bought the first clothes. Now, in one day's time, my little baby who I instantly fell in love with the moment he was placed in my arms, will be one month old. I will return to work in two weeks and life will go back into a routine. I will forget what a babies skin feels like, what they smell like, how their cry sounds. He will grow out of his Newborn clothes, then the 0-3 months, eventually he will be like his oldest brother and be into 'big boy' clothes where they start at extra small and continue to grow with them. The saddest thing about it all is forgetting what a baby is like. It makes me ache inside already. The decision to stop at three children is one I must make for myself and for my family. We are by no means rich and children are very expensive. When Oliver is ten years old, I will be forty and still able to run and play and be with my boys (God willing). And I'm terrified of having a girl  . |
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** Oliver Jeffery James Ferguson 8/5/16 Little Oliver is probably my best baby. I achieved my goal of going into labor by myself when I was rudely awakened at 12:40am by my water breaking. This wasn't a pinprick either, it was a gushing flood of warm amniotic fluid. Since I have two toddlers, I called my mother promptly letting her know I needed her. Needless to say I didn't sleep only about twenty minutes that night since I was nervous for the upcoming delivery (no matter how many kids you have it doesn't make you any less anxious) and I was having increasingly stronger contractions. Around 10:00am my doctor came and said I could have my epidural whenever I wanted (right now please!) and so about forty minutes later I had a catheter in my back giving me that heavenly drug. However, I was having some issues with my blood pressure. I never had an issue before but I would all of a sudden start to get lightheaded and my left side would start to get tingly. I was freaking out inside since my brain wasn't letting me show it very well on the outside. The nurse would come in and move me slightly and up my fluids and I was fine although I ended up in a cold sweat. This happened about three times. My husband came during lunch along with his friend James (who one of Oliver's middle names is after) and my mother was able to get off work to come (she hasn't missed a delivery). The nurse said I was only dialated to six centemeters and it might be awhile. Well, about two hours later (my husband had went back to work) I was ready and the doctor was called. I called my husband and he asked if he had time to go to the store. Um, no. When the doctor came in he asked where Scott was and I said he's on his way. His reply was rather humorous."Oh, well, we won't start pushing until he gets here." He got there in time and I was ready to go. I'm pretty sure Oliver was peeking out as it only took about six pushes and he was out. At 3:22pm my little bundle of joy was born. Not only did I have a pretty good labor and delivery, he is just the best baby. He now sleeps four hours at a time at night, eats (I breastfeed), and goes back to sleep until about seven when he's awake for a little while. He doesn't cry often but has a little bit of gas, okay, a lot of gas sometimes, and it upsets his little tummy I'm sure. His brothers love him as well as everyone who meets him. I guess God let me have a good one for my last one (that's the plan anyway). We couldn't be happier |
MOM-SHAMING Mom-shaming. It's something that has started to get way out of hand thanks to social media. Some of the first instances that come to mind is the little boy who fell in the gorilla enclosure at the Cincinnati zoo. The next, the little boy who was drowned by an alligator at a Disney resort. Both these stories are sad and caused so much backlash to the parents, more so the mother. My thoughts on the situations; they were terrible things that happened that was not the 'fault' of anyone. The boy and the gorilla, he was curious and somehow wedged his way under the fence that he shouldn't have been able to squeeze under. The alligator, again, the boy was simply wading out in the water and was attacked. Not the mothers fault that gorilla and little boy died  . Brest feeding seems to be another hot topic for whatever reason.  Such a natural way to feed your hungry child is being ridiculed all over the internet and in real life. What turns people off from it? It certainly can't be the mothers breast. The fact that it's not all pushed up and pretty or in some little sting bikini is most likely the problem. In poor countries what do you think the mothers do? The countries that don't have formula that's made in a factory? I bet they feed their children the way nature intended. My thoughts; I am a breast feeding mama. I love the bonding, I love the amazing way my body adapts to my child and how I can provide him with the very nutrition he needs with my own body. Bottle-fed babies. Breast feeding moms seem to think they are superior to the ones who bottle feed their child. They don't take into consideration that perhaps this mother wants to but can't feed her child, or maybe she just doesn't want to. The baby is not being abused in any way for being fed a bottle. It's being fed, being cared for, and loved. Mom's who give their babies pacifiers  , moms who home-school their children , moms who don't vaccinate (this one I can get a little passionate about), moms who do vaccinate.There are so many ways we can give advice to other moms without belittling them. The last time I checked not every mother in the world had a PhD. The funniest part about the whole thing is you have young women who aren't even mothers chiming in their opinion. In these instances I would like to say "Bitch, please remove yourself."  While I may not agree with other mothers parenting I'm sure not every mother agrees with mine but as long as you don't leave your child in a hot car, beat your child, or starve your child, you are doing a great job.  |
Anxiety. I'm not sure I had it much before I had children but now sometimes, it's crippling. I can't sleep, I lose my appetite, I become irritated. It squeezes your chest until you can't breathe. Irrational fears cloud your thoughts and you can only focus on the bad, the "what-if's".  This summer, for example, there is a pond my mom wants to take the boys swimming. Not unless I am there. 100% no. I have to make that clear to her. They have never had swimming lessons and they could simply walk out too far and fall into the depths and not be found until a week later when their bodies are waterlogged and they are barely recognizable. My sister almost drowned when she was older then them, she said she was walking out to see how far she could go and the current just kept taking her. I was out there swimming so I brought her back to where she could touch but what if I wasn't? My mom's boyfriends son drowned to the point he was not breathing and after being resuscitated he has a speech impairment and some social issues.  The road we live on also gives me a great deal of anxiety every day. It's a major state route that semi's use. It's my own fault because I park on the street and not back behind my garage but we keep our doors locked and there is absolutely no playing in the front yard. When I have new babysitters I have to inform them of that. My four year old just walked out one day because he wasn't paying attention. I always thought he was smarter then that but kids have lapses in judgement. Just last year some thirteen year old girl was walking to school and got hit! The car was going about forty miles an hour but she was seriously hurt. There were some factors like it was dark at six in the morning, she wasn't using a cross walk, and she had ear buds in. The point is, that driver did not see her. No one would see my little boys either .Sometimes as irrational as it is, I can't help it. When I woke up this morning I thought about writing this which just brought all of it to a head. Not exactly the best way to start the day but hopefully after writing this and starting to park in the back of my house and putting my kids in swim lessons, this will end or at least get better. Some links to help you or someone you know who has anxiety. http://www.webmd.com/anxiety-panic/guide/coping-with-anxiety http://www.adaa.org/tips-manage-anxiety-and-stress |
| I can only imagine what people must think when I take my boys out in public. I have recently contained Elijah with a little harness because he is so quick he gets away from me. Today while at the grocery store we went through the self check out simply because I didn't have that much and it was pretty full today. They were talking together and looking at the other stuff of the shelves when I finished and started to pay. Little Eli, realizing he didn't get to scan anything, started to have a freak out. "I want to do it!" "I want this off!" So what should have taken me two minutes tops, took roughly five (although it felt like ten). He was screaming and crying and twisting himself up in his harness that now all of a sudden was causing him distress. I have been doing pretty well handling my emotions and temper but oh boy I was not happy with his little display. Walking out to the car was basically me taking him by the arm and pulling him. When I would let go, he would throw himself on the ground and cry. Then when we reached the car there was a rather large family getting into the van that parked next to me. Great. They also had two kids and a couple of people who thought they all needed to help. I'm sure they thought I was a rather rude and cruel mom as one woman (I'm assuming the mother) told me to go ahead. When I didn't say anything she said "sorry". It wasn't her fault but I was still so angry at my kids I didn't say anything to her but I'm sure if I would have it would have sounded super nasty. On our way home the boys were crying for the ice cream sandwiches we bought at the store. I told them I was going to make lunch first then they could have one. We got home and Eli bolted to the back. I had no chance. Maxwell was promised an ice cream sandwich if he waited on the front porch. He did and when I stepped off the porch I tripped and broke my toenail far down the nail. If I was mad before, I was super mad. I started yelling and grabbed that boy and pulled them into the house. It didn't help it's 80 degrees outside and I was hungry and pregnant. The moral of the story is, only take your kids out in public for short spurts. Before the store we had went to the library. I think little Eli was tired of being good. After lunch we cuddled on the couch and watched "The Land Before Time". They are still my sweet little boys. |
| My youngest son, Elijah, has eczema. He has had the condition ever since he was an infant and it was on the side of his face between his eye and hair line. I would try to treat it and of course he would itch it usually in his sleep when I wasn't with him. When he turned two it migrated from his face to his leg. Just in one spot. I have got it to the point of almost gone when suddenly it would flare up again. He is now almost three and even after taking him to the doctor who simply prescribed him Amoxicillin and some anti-itch cream, I still have yet to be able to rid my son of this condition. Of course I put an eczema cream on it and it helps until the skin must become immune and it stops working. After some research there seems to be no "cure" only relief from the problem. Below I have posted a website for the top eczema remedies along with a list of cremes that have been rated in order of usefulness. http://www.dermareport.com/index.html?gclid=CP_dlKXD0swCFQiQaQodtGMOKg For those who want a more natural remedy for the problem: http://www.naturallivingideas.com/natural-remedies-for-eczema/ If anyone else has this issue post a comment below about what you do to help you or your loved one. |
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