Disability, Chronic pain, illness Forum

Few people here really know me but I have been battling rheumatoid arthritis for several years. I managed to keep it under control until a few months ago when I developed skin cancer.
Due to a failed skin graft I had to stop taking my Methotrexate which is an immunosuppressant. I developed a severe infection in the graft and donor site and it was thought by my doctor that the medication contributed to it. A second graft did well but unfortunately, after being on the med so long, my arthritis flared up with a vengence and I have developed several nodules on my hands that I have managed to avoid for years.
In addition to that the cancer returned and another graft was necessary. I am having a very difficult time with the joint pain and unfortunately fibromyalgia, extreme fatigue, and other symptoms are part of rheumatoid arthritis.
I simply do the best I can. There is nothing else I can do. My biggest fear is to become crippled with frozen joints and not be able to take care of myself. When that day comes, I pray God will have mercy on me and take me home.
I know there are many others who are worse off than I am and I envy them their strength. With everything that has happened in the past few months with nose surgeries and then more cancer and more surgery my strength is limited.
The chronic pain I can handle. I've had it for years. The stiffness and difficulty moving in the most simple ways is disheartening. I often look in the mirror and see a hunched over woman with gnarled hands and wonder if one day she will not be able to straighten up at all. That is a day I don't want to face.
Those of you who are in chronic pain have my empathy and sympathy. It's not a easy to live with and the only way to do so is simple. Take it one day at a time.

Jim, I miss talking to you, my friend. I hope you are taking good care of yourself.