WDC Birthday Bash...Send in the Clowns!

I want a signature that reflects my nom de plume.

So, perhaps a maniacal lemon or something along those lines. I must admit, my imagination is better expressed in words than any image I can create anyway. I trust you will come up with something good.
I would like two, one as a personal sig and another as a Lords of High Fantasy sig. They can be related or not at your discretion.

Additional info about me that might help find the right theme...

I am a member of the Lords of High Fantasy
I write speculative fiction, fantasy and have dabbled with poetry(badly)
I have three wiener dogs(daschunds)
My favorite color is blue
My beard is almost a foot long
I love to review
Dragons are awesome
Huge, unlikely swords are sweet
I like to debate

If ya need to know more, just ask,
If ya need to know less, purge your short term memory by jabbing a fork in your eye. (I haven't tried this remedy, so if you use it, please post the results, I am interested in its efficacy)

I am going to donate 5K for both...if you need more lemme know.
Thanks,
Sour