Whine & Cheese Company, Inc. - 1

Dear Susan,

I think you have put your finger on the crux of the problem in your sentence that reads, "None of my friends and family can eat or drink; they are dummies, you idiot." Gene pool a little low on resources, huh? But, who were you referring to with the words, "you idiot?" I say one of your relatives, however, Bubba thinks you were in fact referring to Santa Clause, for which you will not get a gift, I'm sure.

No, I don't think I am your cousin on your father's side. I have never seen your father's side. Further, I have no cousins, aunts uncles or other relatives, neither dummies or non-dummies.

So, kindly stop besmirking my family name. It is a very old family name and one that I uphold and display with pride in the name of the Whine and Cheese Company, Inc.

Instead why not buy our Christmas Gift Packs for your enemies. It will be a great way to get back at them. They'll think you're cool, albeit a dummy still, for sending them something totally useless and unacceptable. They will probably hate you all the more.

Thank you for your loyal support of our company and it's products.

Whinningly yours,
Jim Whinnery, Head Whiner