Sensual Fantasy

July 2005
Baghdad, Iraq

I am Dan James. It has been one month since since I awoke in this room on the Sub Level 2 of a bombed out building in Baghdad. During his afternoon excursions with me Francois, my nurse and a very good friend told me that this was once an elite music academy with a pecking order. Baghdad had culture too.

There are two floors above the ground, a basement and two sub-levels below ground. The ground level of the structure was classrooms, the second level was a dormitory for the wealthy students, the middle class resided in the basement, and both sub levels housed talented students with high potential, who depended on scholarships and charity to attend this school.

Each afternoon Francois brought me to the reception hall in the basement, where a piano sat in the middle of the room near what had once been French doors, but was now little more than a gaping who with a door frame, which opened onto a Flagstone patio.

He wheeled me to the hole and then played piano for him. He was an excellent pianist, but he had said, he did little more than dabble, compared to his twin brother. The composition he played was always the same. It seemed that he was forever telling the story of his life in those concerts. The music was hauntingly beautiful, but the composition seem to be unfinished.

Each morning at 0700 hours on the mark, Francois entered my room with two French Country breakfasts, complete with eggs, bacon, hash browns, coffee and French toast, which he put on the small square table that sat against the north wall, beneath the air vent in my room.

The walls in my room are painted to resemble a beautiful summer scene as though I were seeing through a windowpane. The window was complete with a black frame and painted crimson swags with gold tie backs. A different scene is depicted on the walls of each of the other seventeen rooms, displaying another section of the lovely Flagstone courtyard.

Francois is always so happy and upbeat when he came in each morning, but this morning after breakfast I had told Francois I had and nightmare last night and name is Major Dan James, and there is someone else in my life. It was like someone had turned out the lights. The spark left Francois’ eyes, and the smile slowly left his face. It was then that I realized that he had actually fallen in love with me. I felt like a heel. Although he quickly recovered his composure the spark did not return to his eyes, instead there was a deep sadness there, nor did his smile regain it’s previous glow.

He had spent all day with me just like normal, but today there was a change in our routine. He took me outside into the stone patio. I sat on the cement bench hear the fountain and Francois sat on pony wall around it.While the structure was still miraculously intact, the bottom of the pool was filled with rocks, sand, and other debris, and dust filled the air.

The fountain was the head of a lion with an open mouth. A charred tree stood on a mound behind the fountain. The tree had once provided ample shade for the beautiful stone courtyard.

We sat and talked for the better part of the afternoon. This was the first day I was able to walk, me on the stone bench and Francois sat across from me on the cement ledge surrounding the fountain. We talked about everything from the aftermath of an unnecessary war to the beauty of Baghdad before the war.

“Yes, war is an ugly business,” Francois was saying as he stood to his feet and helped me to mine. “I did not expect to fall in love with you, Dan. I came to help you remember who you are, and how you came to be in Baghdad, but a sometime ago, I realized this had become quite personal for me, but your mind was so tortured I could not tell you of my love. I did not wish to make things more difficult for you.”

I just stared at him and we walked back inside the building. I had not realized this until I saw the look of devastation on Francois’ face when he told him about my nightmare. “I’m sorry, Francois, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“It is not your fault, Dan.” he said quietly. “You have nothing to be sorry for. I always knew there was someone else. It was obvious from that lovely Emerald pendant that you are wearing around your neck. It took me back to a time a year ago when I saved the life of a young man near the Base camp not far from here. He wore a very special pendant also.”

Dan blinked. He could not believe what he was hearing.“Lonny,” It was little more than a gasp. It was you who moved Lonny’s body to a safe place and called for help. He was discharged you know.”

“Yes, I am well aware that he is no longer in Baghdad, and of the great injustice done to him. Your military is so intolerant and hypocritical. I know for a fact that there are many supposedly straight officers and soldiers alike, who are not exactly He-men.”

“I know this as well, but what happened to me? How did I get here?”

“That is something I cannot tell you. I was not here to see what happened, but I found you unconscious in the clearing near that village. I do know a sniper attack when I see one. Seven men died in that raid.” Francois said as he consulted his watch. “We must finish the tour of this facility. Today, I am going to bring you to the second level above ground. If you think the basement and sub-basements were impressive, wait until you see what is left of the top floor.”

“You will not believe how the engineers have renovated this building. The top floor has been completely redone. The visitor's quarters are up there, as well as the General’s suite. Today you will eat a real meal in a real French restaurant. It is getting late, we must go. I have so much I want to share with you before I leave. This will be my last day with you.”

I didn’t understand why at the time, but I felt an void open up inside, I already felt the loss acutely. Perhaps I did not want to admit that I had grown rather fond of Francois. “I will miss you.” I said.

“Francois looked at ne for a long moment before he spoke again. “You mean our time together has been memorable?”

“Oh, Francois, you will never know what this month has meant to me,” I replied. “I think I love you.”

That produced the smile I had come to love so much, and the old spark returned to Francois’ blue eyes, along with tears. I couldn’t help it, I wrapped my arms him and held him close. It was strange what and embrace can do to certain parts of the anatomy.

Francois was taller and more muscular than me, tears brimmed his eyes, he bent his head and kissed me deeper and tenderly. I would be remiss if I did not admit that I too was crying. When Francois pushed himself away, he turned away quickly.

“Francois, why turn away. It is no shame to cry. You would be inhuman if you did not. Don’t hold the tears back. We are both men, and nobody else is around.”

“We must go before I gets dark. I have so much to show you. Come, let us go.”

Instead of eating dinner in the restaurant, Francois ordered our meals and purchased a bottle of wine. “Come, they will deliver out dinner to the suite.”

I hesitated and Francois smiled. “Relax, nothing will happen that you do not want to happen.” He said.

*****
Franois had not exaggerated, his suite was impressive indeed. It looked like the architects has lifted it right out of Versailles and brought it here just for him, and a white baby grand piano sat atop a white faux fur area rug that was spread on the marble floor a chandelier hung above the piano. There was a fireplace against the south wall near the platial window that overlooked the courtyard.

“What do you think?” He asked. “Did I exaggerate when I said the architects outdid themselves when the renovated?”

Before I could speak someone knocked on the door and Francois went to answer it. A server entered the suite and the door closed automatically behind him. He walked to the kitchen island the top of which was shining black marble with white accents.

He spread a white linen tablecloth on the bar and set out to prepare their meal. He reached into the cabinet and removed two wine goblets and set them on the bar, he removed the gigantic aluminum cover from the tray and set two plates of steaming food on the bar. He flipped a switch under the bars and the two mood lights came on over the bar.

“Dinner is served, Monsieur.” The waiter said.

“Thank you Tomas, I will call you when we are finished.” Francois said. Tomas filled both goblets with wind, slipped the empty tray onto his right hand and left the suite.

After the door closed, Francois smiled at me and extended his hand palm up, to help me to my feet. “I am a gentleman first, everything else takes second place.” He said. “Who says women are the only people whom a man can escort to dinner?” He grinned.

I set my hand into his and he closed his fingers gently around it, and set it in the crook of his elbow, and covering my hand with his other hand, led me to the bar. The black was so elegant that a formal dining table was unnecessary.

When we were finished eating, Francois pushed a button beneath the counter and within minutes Tomas had arrived with dessert and a carafe of steaming coffee, which he set on the warmer built into the bar. “Do you wish dessert at this time, Monsieur?” He asked.

“Later Tomas, I will ring when we are ready. You can pour us coffee, however.”
Tomas busied himself pouring the coffee as Francois made himself comfortable at the piano. “Would you like to stay, Tomas? I know how you love my musique.”

“If it is quite alright with you, Monsieur. He replied and sat on one of the bar seats. He closed his eyes as Francois began to play.

It was the same tune he had played every day for the past month, but tonight there was a different quality to the music. Perhaps is was atmosphere or the fact that he was finally able to admit that Francois had become so much more than a simple friend, even so, Lonny’s wide smile and blue eyes were never far from Dan’s mind. If he ever left Iraq, how would he tell Lonny about this?”

After the music stopped, Tomas brought two plates of Chocolat Mousse over and set them on the table with two forks. He brought the carafe from the bar and filled their cups again. “I will let myself out, Monsieur.” He said. “I assume you will not want me to return tonight.”

“You assume rightly, Tomas.” Francois said.

*****
After they finished their dessert, Francois carried the plates across the room to the bar, and Dan followed. Francois met him halfway and just stared at him. He reach out and untied the belt around his robe and it fell open, revealing that the music and the atmosphere had desired effect. He slipped his hands beneath the robe and place one on each hip. “Stay with me tonight, Dan?” he said a question in his deep blue eyes. “Let us share love.”

He bent his head and kissed Dan, his tongue was in Dan’s mouth, and although thoughts of Lonny were never far away Dan responded by opening his mouth. Francois’s tongue was in his mouth nearly choking him, and Dan returned the gesture.

As the kiss came to an end, Francois moved his hands up and gently slipped Dan’s robe from his shoulders. It fell in a puddle at his feet.

The living room is not the appropriate place to practice the art of love. You have not answered my previous question. “Will you spend this night with me? I will not force you. You must consent. Remember, I told you earlier that nothing will happen that you do not want to happen. You want this, Dan, no, you need this. I can see it in your eyes. “Come,” he said gently as Dan allowed himself to be led to the bedroom.

*****

It was still dark, but well after midnight when Dan woke Francois. “Love, this was wonderful, but we need to return to my room, before the early shift comes on.”

Francois sighed his resignation. “You are right of course. I wish this time could last longer. I have never known such very real emotional release. It was so much more than sex. Can you understand what I am telling you?”

“Yes, Francois, I experienced this release also, and the memory of this night will be with me always. What is it they say about love. It is there for a season. When two hearts are meant to rendezvous, the meeting will come.”

“Oui, Daniel, it is so. Let us go and shower. It may be that we can share one more release before we part.” Francois said as he outlined Dan’s jaw with one long slender finger. “Do not worry about Lonny. You and he will have a long and prosperous union.”

“That would be nice?” Dan said as he walked toward the bathroom.”

*****

At seven sharp the next morning a very pretty young Iraqi nurse woke Dan to take his vitals and give him his meds. He had not slept so well in all of his time in the this hospital. “Well, Tomas told me that you and Francois had a rather entertaining night last night.”

I grinned sheepishly to think anybody had guessed what happened. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised though. “I guess you could say that. Has he left the hospital yet?” He asked quietly.

The nurse got the strangest look on her face, looked up and spoke to the ceiling. “You bastard, you unmitigated bastard!” She said and laughed. “Honey, Francois never leaves this building. He was killed when it was bombed last year. It was too bad too, he was a very special man.”

“Yes, he was.” I said wistfully. A ghost. That explains why his love was so otherworldly.