NaNoWriMo Brainstorming Forum

Does my cop character come across realistically?

"So, what have we got?" Lieutenant Mike Stonewall asked the gathered crew. He was a seasoned police officer with twenty plus years under his belt. He had seen it all and it showed.
"Black was drawn to our attention by the Board of Sherman and Warwick," started Sergeant Dwayne Everest, "They had some suspicions about a client of his, one Jose Hernandez." Dwayne paused to glance at his notes. "The guy was an unknown quantity."
"What do you mean?" asked Stonewall.
"His name had never appeared in any financial journals or society pages."
"Is that unusual?" Stonewall asked.
"It appears that it is. They feared he might be some mob boss, laundering his ill gotten gains."

Stonewall looked at the Department of Justice sign emblazoned on the file covers. He had been with the Securities and Commodities Fraud Task Force for two years now and still felt like a fish out of water. Now, mob bosses he understood; it was these guys in Armani suits with their PDA's that he still couldn't fathom. He looked across at Dwayne, sitting on the corner of his desk, leg swinging casually and realised that here was a kindred spirit. Everest, like him, had come from the streets.

"Anything else?" Stonewall asked.
"Ye, as they were pondering whether to bother us with this matter, a client of Black's rocked up complaining about a shortfall in his account."
"Much?"
"You're gonna laugh at this one; $9.95."
"Really?"
"Seems the guy's a bit OCD." Nobody laughed. The boss would never consider theft, no matter how small, to be a laughing matter.

"OK. Ballister, you've taken a good look at his accounts; what did you find?" Stonewall continued.
"I know you don't like jargon, so I'll keep it to layman's terms as much as possible," the accountant glanced around, over the rim of his glasses. That comment was not only intended for the boss. " Firstly, we think the Hernandez account is a dummy that Black is using to collect funds. Secondly, it looks like he's been operating a kind of 'pump and dump' for the last two years." Stonewall understood that one.

A pump and dump scheme is where the fraudster buys up a load of penny shares in some worthless company; he then hypes up the company, encouraging other investors to buy. When the price goes up enough, he sells, leaving the other investors with a load of worthless shares. It is usually done through social media these days; spam emails offering a way to make a fast buck, message forums with a lot of fake promises of good things in the offing.

"Details?"
"First he opened the dummy account, then using what we believe to be his own money, he buys a load of penny stock. Then he uses small amounts of each client's money to pump the price. He makes a killing, his clients make a loss, but one so small as to go unnoticed. As long as he's making them millions, a few dollars here and there is an acceptable loss."
"Except for OCD man," interrupted Everest, always the joker in the pack.

"With the funds raised from that first pump and dump he invested in high yield stuff. But our friend Black wasn't satisfied; he pulled the same game again a few months later, then did it again and again," Ballister informed the group.
"How much has he pulled in so far?" Stonewall asked.
"After pulling the same stunt several times more, the Hernandez account is now worth twenty million."
"Phewy, I'm in the wrong game," Everest said. Stonewall gave him a look and the younger man dropped his head in shame.

"And the D.A.'s satisfied we've got enough evidence to pull Black in?" Stonewall asked.
"Arrest Warrant, signed, sealed and ready to deliver," Ballister said, waving the document in the air.
"Jack, where did you say this guy worked?" Patricia Golding called from the outer office.
"World Trade Center, why?"
"You better come look at this."