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“Every five years, starting at age fifteen, citizens are given the choice of erasing a memory,” Grandma explained. “You are going to be fifteen tomorrow.”

“I don’t have a bad memory. I mean a really bad one, that keeps coming back to hurt me. I’ve skinned my knees, I’ve been grounded, and I hate the bullies at school, but really there’s nothing that I don’t want to remember,” Jacki said.

“You are wise,” Grandma praised her. Then she continued, “You understand that erasing a bad memory, might erase a person you know and love as well? The ripples of this policy are horrendous.”

“I know. The president went poof one day. Do you remember? I think it’s one of the first things I remember. Daddy said this choice should be rescinded. I don’t even know what that means for sure.” Jacki wrinkled her forehead.

“Your father is working to get this removed. The trouble is no one wants to be responsible for their own feelings and choices. They like being able to change things so they don’t have to be reminded of poor decisions or traumatic happenings.” Grandma’s sigh spoke volumes.

“It’s not fair to have to remember being terrorized or losing someone to murder, or a fatal disease.” Jacki argued her point.

“But in erasing that memory, you might erase all the good ones too.” Grandma’s statement was scary.

“Mom would still be alive if I erased the memory of her death.”

“Or my biggest fear would come true, and you would go poof because her life won’t turn out the same.”

The anguish in Grandma’s voice and the way it twisted her face, as tears ran down her cheeks, stabbed at her heart.

“Oh…. Now I get it,” Jacki’s mouth went round as the full impact of what might happen hit home.

She flipped through the photo album with all her pictures of her mother. Remembering all the fun of birthday parties, trips to the zoo, and her first day of school as she glanced at her white-haired grandmother.

What if Grandma erased a memory? Would she even be? And would the plump woman sitting there, watching her be the same one who hugged her every time she came home still be there?

“If you erase your worst memories, you would not be you. They are part of brought to the place you are in. I wouldn’t trade losing your mother, or you grandfather for anything. Both of them brought love, and with love comes so much more.”

Jacki shook her head. “How did you know what I was going to ask?”

“I have lived long enough to know. I love myself as I am. And I wouldn’t be me without all the hurts along the way. It’s how you know the good from the bad.”

“Heavy, Grandma. Really heavy. And I think the bad things can’t get any worse. I bet you’re going to tell me never say worse.”

Jacki smiled as she spoke.

“Busted!” Grandma grinned back at her. “So, are you going to get rid of a bad memory tomorrow?”

“Not a chance. We’re going to make some good ones instead. It’s my birthday.” Jacki opened her arms for a hug.

Grandma got up, and drew her in. The warmth of her arms, and the quiet vanilla scent of her shampoo, meant safety and love. Why would anyone risk losing that? Why would she want to be erased?