Crosstimbers Review Forum

Thanks for asking me to read this.

As you know, the primary purpose of this forum to provide feedback on fiction. This story is, instead, an op-ed for a newspaper. There are similarities, but also significant differences. In any case, my time is rather limited of late, so instead of an in-depth, line-by-line review, I'll try to give you general impressions.

I agree with the notion of providing some context and local color at the beginning. However you lead with a suggestion from some Sri Lankans. Who, exaclty, are they? I assume that they are also attending the conference Belt and Road Forum, which apparently was the purpose of your visit. If you'd at least alluded to the Forum in your opening, we would have had some context for what followed.

I've visiting China as well, and recall the flag-raising ceremony that you mentioned. To get there, we walked through a beautiful park, filled with flowers and trees, and thronging with crowds of prosperous-looking Chinese tourists. I recall especially one large group of perhaps 50 or so people enthusiastically singing folk songs. I'd never encountered anything similar elsewhere. Our guide told us they were singing popular Tibetan songs.

Tiannamen Square itself was huge. Videos of it from TV or even movies can't do justice to its size. The flag-raising ceremony itself was solemn and precise, with the ornate gate to the Forbidden City in the distant background.

In contrast to your experience, everywhere we went we found people eager to practice English on us. People were full of curiousity about the US, but also full of pride at China's accomplishments. More than once people wanted to pose for pictures with me. Our guide said that I looked "exotic" because of my 6'1" stature and curly blond hair. Everywhere people were friendly and welcoming.

I got some of the same sense from your piece. The bits about the geopolitics and controversies related to the Belt and Road initiative were interesting, as well, but may take up more space in this kind of piece than is appropriate. I'm not sure what relevance Putin had to your visit, except that he was there as a guest of honor.

I do have the sense that some of the initial enthusiasm for the initiative in Africa and elsewhere has waned a bit as the loans have come due. I note that you quoted the positive Chinese characterizations of the initiative more or less uncritically. But the purpose of this kind of op-ed isn't geopolitics; rather, it's to give insight into another country where things are different from home.

The things that struck me, an American visiting China, are different from what might strike you. For example, one thing I noticed was that almost all the signs at the University of Beijing were bilingual in Chinese and English. I asked if they were ever in Russian (this was fifteen years ago), and people just smiled and shooik their heads "no," as if that was a dumb question. I imagine things would be different today.

So, on balance, I liked this piece, but I think the beginning could use a bit more context of why you were in Beijing in the first place, who the Sri Lankans were (just tell us they were also at the conference), and perhaps mention something about the hotel where you stayed. (We stayed at one that could have been a high-rise Holiday Inn in the US, except for the security fence surrounding the place and the guardhouse you had to pass through to enter.)

I've kind of rambled. My recommendation is to slightly re-work the opening to give the context of your visit, tell us "fellow conference attendees from Sri Lanka" suggested the visit to Tianamen Square "for the flag raising ceremony." That would set up the rest of the piece a little better.

Hope this helps.

Max

Max Griffin
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