Sunni's Review &Edit - closed

This was good work and I only had a couple of
suggestions:

1. Word choice. Example:

" I don’t know what attracted me (use "to"
instead of "towards") him that particular day."

"I was unaware, and still am (switch word
order to "am still") quite unaware, of what forces
came into play that day.

2. Punctuation and sentence length. Example:

"Life wasn’t (delete , )(change "anymore"
to "no longer") just school, my computer,
trigonometry homework, the physics
assessment ( replace … with a period)
(capitalize N)no, there was much more to it, so
much more. "

" Perhaps it was the void where his feet should
have been that pulled me towards him
(replace … with an em dash "–")just like a
magnet attracts metal."

" I realized that being a student (well-fed,
properly clothed) didn’t make me any different from
a beggar in His Eyes (replace … with a
period) (capitalize H)how we were equal in His
Eyes and were to treat each other as such."

-you might want to use lower case for "eyes"
when you say "His eyes" the capital H should be
enough (but I don't think it is grammatically wrong
to capitalize both).

Thanks for your posting,
Sunni17