Sunni's Review &Edit - closed

I enjoyed this story of how differences of opinion can co-exist within the harmony of friendship. This was a cute tale and I really liked the characters of "cat" and "dog".

I just had a few minor suggestions, mainly regarding wording and comma use. Here they are:

1) You write: Were cats and dogs not meant to fight? How about saying Weren't cats and dogs meant to fight?

2) You write: across the distance they felt that the other was strangely familiar. how about they each felt

3) You write: They could not recall a previous encounter. How about saying Neither could recall..

4) You write: “So,” she said after a pause which neither of them seemed to mind, “do you come here often?” You could really shorten that sentence by just saying comfortable pause

5) You write: They began to converse of the world, and soon the cat found that she was able to share her innermost secrets with this new friend, and she did so with pleasure. The dog did not seem to mind; on the contrary he encouraged her to do so. you could say "talk of" or "converse about". Delete the comma after "world" and add a comma after "contrary".

6) You write: “This is the most splendid spot on earth! I never want to leave here , this is where I was born to be, just you and me on the lush green meadow!” End sentence after "leave here". Make a new sentence beginning with "This is where I..." Change the comma to a semi colon before "just you and me..."

7) You write: Give it a chance, dog, look around you and see how green it is, and know that you were mistaken but that it is not too late, the meadow is still green and it will be green tomorrow, and when we run and play in it you can enjoy the greenness with me!” This sentence is pretty long! How about breaking it down into : Give it a chance, dog. Look around you and see how green it is and know that you were mistaken. But it is not too late;the meadow is still green and it will be green tomorrow, and when we run and play in it you can enjoy the greenness with me!”

8) You write: The dog thought that he had convinced the cat that the meadow was red, or at least if she wasn’t convinced now then she would slowly understand it over time. What if you change "understand" to "see"?

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Writing is an Expression of the Mind and Soul---Sunni17