You turn your head, your eyes scanning the room for Sydney. You find her by the door turned away from you illuminated by the glow of her phone. "You can look," you say.
"There's no way you got dressed that fast," she replies.
"That's a problem?" you ask. You get no answer so you push yourself to your feet and make your way over to her. "We're private now you know," you say as you reach out one hand to stroke her arm the way she'd done earlier and the other to rest on her waist. She tenses up and then squirms away from you making an effort not to look. You can't help but smirk.
"Do I throw you off balance that much?" you ask as you turn and make your way over to the pile of clothes.
"Not at all," she shoots back.
"Liar," you state with amusement as you begin slipping things on. Nothing much is said at that point until you've slipped the dark skirt on and are grabbing for its contrastingly light top that you notice him off in a corner. "You're still here," you say to him.
That seems to catch his attention. "Uh, should I not be?" he asks.
"You know what's going on don't you?" you ask Will as you throw the top over your head and straighten out your hair.
"Sure, kind of. It's confusing but basically I'm you, right?"
"And who am I?" you ask dryly to which he has no response. "I'm me and you have to listen to me. You don't need to think about it any more than that, right?"
"Y-yes," he mutters sheepishly.
"Good. You have a curfew don't you?" He eyes you for a second before it sinks in and he's scrambling out the door. "You and him," you observe as you turn to Sydney.
"It's unsettling," she replies as she walks up to you, her eyes are thin as she peers intently at you, sizing you up. "You're playing a character right?"
"Am I?" you chuckle. "Everything you've done and talked about to this point and this is what unnerves you?"
"Come on, this is different!" she insists. "When I put on that mask of Caleb I still thought like me and acted like me but with you..."
"I'm still very much myself if that's what you're worried about," you state.
Her gaze doesn't lighten any at that however. In fact it might have actually hardened. "And who are you?" she asks.
With that you go from a light chuckle to full on laughter. "Sydney, I promise you I am still me don't worry," you insist through it. "I just wanted to have a little fun and turn the tables on you for once."
"So what do we do now?" she asks.
"Well I know something," you say as you move back to her and run the back of your hand down the side of her face.
"Will, come on," Sydney says with noticeable unease, "I don't... you know..."
"A shame don't you think? Jelena, seeing who you really are, is quite impressed," you tell her.
"And I'm sure that she's an impressive girl as well but I'm not," she stops and grunts, "look, you wanted to turn the tables and throw me off balance and you're doing a good job of it okay? You've had your fun."
"I can't help it," you admit. "Being her feels, well, good. Relaxing maybe. She's confident and comfortable in her skin so it feels nice to be able to be like that for a change."
"Will, you've got plenty of reasons to be confident you know," she replies."I'm a good enough reason right?"
You wonder if she's going to do anything more than just say something but she doesn't and you can't help but let out a frustrated grumble. "Well if I'm going to be Jelena, I mean it doesn't really mean much," you state.
"So go back to being yourself then. Put mask on the real girl."
You can only shake your head. "You don't get it, I don't want to," you respond. "Not yet anyway. There's just... I like that you think like that about me but I really do just want to feel confident and cool for a little bit."
You can't help but think about way everyone else has been acting towards you. They sure as hell wouldn't give that kind of attitude to Patterson. Hell, Jelena could date Sydney and she wouldn't get the same guff. But you're not cool, you're not popular so of course it's totally not right for you to date someone so obviously out of your league no matter what you or her might think. The sad reality is you'll never be "right" for her in the eyes of everyone else, same as you weren't "right" for Lisa in the eyes of all of her friends.
It'd basically take some kind of shadowy cabal of puppet masters manipulating everything behind the scenes focused solely on making you popular for anything to change. Fat chance of the Illuminati taking interest in the social position of a high schooler though.
Sydney herself is quiet too and you have to wonder if she doesn't realize it as well; realize the mistake she may have made with you. She didn't seem adverse to the idea of Blake O'Brien's company after all. "So you're fine like that? Even if it means we can't be together for a while?" she asks. Her gaze is downcast and it hits you right in the gut.
"Um, well..."
"If that's the case then," she pauses and you brace yourself; she's going to end it right here. She looks at you, her smile is mischievous like she's playing with you. You can't help but anticipate it. "Find me someone good for Jelena. Someone really compatible."
"What do you mean?" you ask. "Really compatible? You're not talking about... you just said you're not..."
"Sydney McGlynn isn't. Who said anything about other potential members of the coven though?"
Just as quickly Sydney hasn't so much as thrown you off balance but used your own momentum like an expert judoka to knock you flat on your back.
* * * * *
"I told you, nothing happened," you say as you sit on the couch in the living room of the house that Jelena shares with her sister and one of her fellow bandmates.
"What do you mean nothing happened?" Nancy Trent asks as she takes a seat on the opposite end. "I didn't even know something was going on with you."
"Oh you weren't out there yet right?" Shayna Offerman jumps in, seemingly oblivious to the death glare you're giving her. "Yell was getting really flirty with that new senior girl."
"I wasn't getting flirty with her," you insist and with relief you take a drag.
"New senior girl?" asks Sienna as she flops down next to Shayna on the love seat.
"That one you hate," Shayna replies. "Sydney?"
"The fuck?!" Sienna exclaims as she casts a suspicious eye towards you. "I didn't think you went for the Barbie dolls."
"I don't and I didn't," you continue to insist while also continuing to glare hard at a junior that can't keep her mouth shut. "She just thought the band sounded good and had some questions about it. That's it."
"I watched you guys go up into the rooms," Shayna replies defensively.
"That was her idea, she thought they'd be quieter," you lie. "She's new, she doesn't really have a handle on why they're there."
"Yeah but--"
"Shayna," Nancy sighs, "if Yell says nothing happened then nothing happened. I can't imagine someone like Cheerleader Barbie gets out to the Warehouse all that much and she's new on top of it? I can see her being ignorant of that shit."
"Can't even imagine someone like you 'n her," Sienna laughs. "Fuck though that'd be a trip wouldn't it?"
"We'd be incompatible," you reply dismissing the notion entirely. "Even if we weren't, you know how the social system works."
Nancy nods in agreement. "Yeah, Hennepin can't even go public with Kelsey because it'd reflect badly on her or some shit," she states.
"Even though that's, like, the worst kept secret in school since people like me know about it," Shayna adds.
"Fuckin' bullshit," Sienna grunts. "I can't stand her but if Kelsey wants to get dicked by Hennepin why the fuck should any of that shit matter?"
"It is what it is, we can't change reality," you state. Much as we'd like to, you think as you cast an eye to Sienna. Those who are artistic, expressive, defiant and transgressive, that's who Jelena looks up to. That's what Jelena looks for. Is it any wonder then that Sienna sets her heart racing so much even knowing that their differing orientations produce a fundamental incompatibility? But you don't want to dwell on it and neither would the real girl so you shift topics.
"Is Fatima not coming out?" you ask.
"Family commitment that she couldn't get out of," Sienna states.
"Too bad; KC likes having her around. Says that she's a good counter for Zoe's moodiness," you reply.
"Oh, she's coming over?" Shayna asks a bit nervously.
"I mean she lives here so," Nancy replies.
But you know where Shayna's nerves come from. Nobody wants to risk looking bad in front of Jelena's sister. Not that KC is the judgmental type but she's, well, KC and for as cool as Jelena might seem her sister is double that. A lot of the underground still looks up to her... and that would make her a really useful person to have in the coven as would Zoe for that matter. A few people in college really wouldn't hurt.
Or maybe it would. It's nice but you might complicate things with this coven too much and you're largely flying by the seat of your pants here. So it's probably better to just keep things simple and focus on the schools and bands first.
Yet you also keep coming back to that word: compatibility. It's been haunting you both before and after this swap. Will Prescott isn't compatibility with this or that girl. Jelena Petrovic has compatibility issues with those she might want to have something more with. There's what Sydney had said too. Maybe, then, you should focus on compatibility -- who is and who is (right now) just fantasy -- with your new identity.   indicates the next chapter needs to be written. |
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