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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3306822
Review #3306822
Viewing a review of:
Force of Nature  [ASR]
You are at the mercy of the elements.
by Davy Kraken
Review of Force of Nature  
In affiliation with Earth Day Challengers  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
When one tugs at a single thing in nature,
he finds it attached to the rest of the world.
-John Muir-



I am here to give your piece,
*Right*"Forces of Nature"*Left*
a review for the "Earth Day Challenge"!!



"Vast Blue Seas & Oceans" (Strong Points)

Beautiful!! I loved the style you wrote this in... (If I have time, I'd like to try it. *Blush*)

Your use of words and phrasing were good and helped the flow of the piece. *Thumbsup*

Grammar/Punctuation/Rhyme Pattern -- All Superb and Consistent!! *Delight*



"Convenient, Comforting Technology" (Weak Points)

I wouldn't really say it's a weakness or anything... but I thought... or felt like there could be another stanza either before or after the last one... to make the ending stronger. *Blush* (Or I may be just crazy and others or yourself may think differently... *more blush*)


"Supposed-To-Be Caretaker- Man" (Suggestions)

Nothing aside from what I said above. *Laugh*


"Wide, Warm Land Forms" (Additional Chatter)

I love the way you wrote this poem... Your words, negative because of the 'destruction' in them... But also loving, comforting... giving everyone a warning-- a warning to treat nature better. *Heart*




*Exclaim*"KEEP WRITING & INSPIRING"*Exclaim*
~mARi~
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 04/30/2010 @ 11:25pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3306822