%%USERNAME%%    %%ACCWORDS%% %%ONOFF%% |
 Review #3306904 |
 | A Place In This Universe  [E] This poem is aiming to capture the minds of everyone, of what our planet has become.  |
| (4.5)| ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** When one tugs at a single thing in nature, he finds it attached to the rest of the world. -John Muir- I am here to give your piece,  A Place In This Universe a review for the "Earth Day Challenge"!! "Vast Blue Seas & Oceans" (Strong Points) How very dark and negative.  But I enjoyed reading it nonetheless...The pattern you used was interesting... the rhymes (first line and end line of each stanza) were very good, I thought.  The message rang loud and clear here, and it made me really sad... because somehow there is the truth lying within your words... our planet has become (or is slowly becoming) a hopeless case, all because of us leaving in it.  Grammar/Punctuation/Spelling-- all good.  "Convenient, Comforting Technology" (Weak Points) I wouldn't really say it's a weakness but I thought there was something off with the phrasing of your second to the ending line...  (Or I could be wrong...  )"Supposed-To-Be Caretaker- Man" (Suggestions) None aside from what I said above. "Wide, Warm Land Forms" (Additional Chatter) Thank you very much for sharing a bit of your 'darkness' with us. But truly, it was a fun read... there is nothing wrong with thinking negatively in this case, when it's all real anyway.   "KEEP WRITING & INSPIRING"~mARi~
|
|||
View Portfolio
Visit Notebook
Send Gift Points
Awards
Badges
Send Email
Community Newsfeed
General Discussion
Sponsored Items
Book of Trinkets
Static Items
Books
Groups
Interactive Stories
Audio
Campfire Creatives
Community Notes
Crossword Puzzles
Documents
Folders
Images
In & Outs
Madlibs
Photo Albums
Polls
Product Reviews
Quizzes
Survey Forms
Web Pages
Word Searches
You have not yet responded to this review.