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Review #3499932
Viewing a review of:
 SUN’S TRAVAILS: award winner  [E]
The daily journey of the sun.
by Dr M C Gupta
Review by Underling
Rated: E | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
This is a really nice poem about the sun and the imagery is powerful and enjoyable.
It is written in 7-6-7-6 syllabic format and sticks to this very well, although i think this would have been more flowing if it had contained meter as well as syllables.
I also enjoyed the way the poem became calmed in the middle as the sun set and rested and the again became excited as the sun rose again.
Would like to suggest that perhaps this poem could be even more powerful if the sun was given a gender or pesonality. I've always found that objects become imbued with life when quantified by a signifier such as He or She.

''He rises up so high.
Scorching are the rays he sends,
From high up in the sky.''

Gives a sense of intention. But that is just a personal suggestion and not a judgement on the content of the poem which is, as i said, exceedingly good!

Underling.
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