*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3511508
Review #3511508
Viewing a review of: {citem:}
Review of  
In affiliation with Earth Day Challengers  
Rated: | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
A Disclaimer: All the comments are generated from my personal interpretation and spontaneous impression. As the author of this creation you are the sole and ultimate judge of what is best for your expression. I shall be very glad if my views can be of any help.

*Apple*Title: The title is not flashy, nor it startles one to read it immediately. But it is in direct synchronization with the theme permeated in the poem, i.e. the advent of autumn.

*Apple*Concept and The Underlying Idea: The opening line contains the trace of a faint regret for the more robust times of life and of the year. The quiet insertion of the word 'fled' startles us. The poet is keenly aware of the signs of decay and falling off from our storehouse, but accepts it in a serene resignation.The poet evens invites a quiet celebration of the harvest we reap from this existence. This invocation of 'harvest' zaps us back to the season of autumn theme.

*Apple*Form: It is a plain 12-line composition. There is a rhyme scheme where alternate lines rhyme in the first two quartets. In the final one, all the lines fall into the same rhyme.The rhyming keeps a low key throughout and helps to sustain the mood.

*Apple* Impression of the Idea: The idea is not novel, only because all nature themes are perennial.

*Apple* Thematic Suggestion: The theme concentrates more on the human seasons than on the actual ones. A little more focus on the natural seasonal scenery would have brought more interest into the main message.

*Apple* Grammar and vocabulary: I have spotted only one misspelt word: 'meager' should have been meagre. The first line of the concluding couplet ends with the verb 'is' leaving space for a noun or a noun equivalent, but the end-line starts with an 'if'.

*Apple*Description: The description of 'hair' falling is accurate but a bit starkly personal. The next line is quite ok in that respect. As I commented before,a bit of impersonal element can secure the distance of the poet's subjectivity.

*Apple* Style of writing: Very simple. the poet almost confides to the reader and humbly puts forth a great demand, to celebrate Life as it is!

*Apple*Kudos and Applauds: The poet has gone no extra mile for big words or tricky similes, quietly assures the right atmosphere. *ThumbsUp*


*Apple* Areas to work on: A little bit of care in editing will come in handy. One great advice I received, I shall like to pass on to you. Will you try centering and colouring your fonts a bit? The effort may surprise you.*Wink*

*Sun*My favourite expression:

Let's lift our cups and toast our lives,
If you would be so kind.


Please write on!



** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **




** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only **
   *NoteR* You have not yet responded to this review. Ignore
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3511508