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Review #3552337
Viewing a review of:
 He Cannot Breathe  [E]
I wrote this about the passing of my grandfather about a year after he died.
by C. Davenport
Review of He Cannot Breathe  
Review by gladiola
In affiliation with SIMPLY POSITIVE NEWBIE REVIEWE...  
Rated: E | (4.0)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)

Hello C. Davenport
This is gladiola and I am pleased to offer my review for your poem entitled He Cannot Breathe.
As a reviewer, I only offer my point of view and it is up to you to decide what fits.

Concept/Premise *RollEyes*
It is a sad and heartful poem about the death of a grandfather, who the narrator felt at the funeral and how he remembered his grandfather.

Overall impression: *Reading*
That is definitely a loss and I could feel the pain he felt for his grandfather specially when he described how he couldn't feel any pat or hear any words of condolence. All what he focused on was his loss and the great impact it had on him was very clear. Well done specially for a newbie.

*Sun*Suggestions:*Sun*
There were words which I was not quite sure of their meaning, I suggest you clarify them like "To our mutual loss" who is mutual?
"two children" who is the other child?
I hope I know what they mean.


Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart.
William Wordsworth



Write on!

*Vine1* Thanks For Sharing *Vine2*

Reviewed By Gladiola


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