WELCOME TO WDC!! 

Congratulations!!
Your item has been highlighted by our group this week.
Therefore, it is my pleasure to review

Invalid Item  This item number is not valid. #1762255 by Not Available.

in affiliation with "Simply Positive Newbie Reviewers" 

Being an animal lover and protector myself, I was deeply moved by your story about Billy. I enjoyed following the progression of the little calf’s growth and of his growing trust and devotion to you. He seemed to be a pretty smart little fellow… well not so little at 600 pounds. He knew how to get you to do what he wanted. To him, you were the only “mother” he remembered. And just like a mother, it must have broke your heart to have him taken away.

I thought you did a good job with your story. You drew the reader into the events of your relationship with Billy, and you offered us a glimpse of what life was like as a staff member of the Animal Forest. I noticed some grammar and punctuation issues and would like to point a few out, for your consideration.
You wrote:
Sometimes we can’t pick who you love, it just happens.
Your story is told in 1st person narrative, so when you switched from “we” to “you”, it was a bit distracting for the reader. I would stick to 1st person and change the “you” to “we”. Also, there are actually 2 separate sentences here, so you need a period or semicolon between them rather than the comma.
Sometimes we can’t pick who we love. It just happens.

Here’s another comma-splice that needs a semicolon or period:
He was still a wild animal, I knew that.
He was still a wild animal; I knew that.

Soon his horn buds were about an inch long and his beard growing long as well.
This looks like a verb-tense problem:
Soon his horn buds were about an inch long, and his beard grew long, as well.

Billy was very attached to me because I was his the only “mother” he remembered.
This looks like a typo.

So I was always ready to bail if I necessary.
You don’t need the word “I”.
So I was always ready to bail if necessary.

One of the other staff members had to catch me up because I almost fell in the churned up mud.

Fowler tried roping Billy, cowboy style, and we all surpressed suppressed our laughs.

I really enjoyed this, Lesdonks, and I hope to read more animal adventures from your port.
Thank you for this opportunity to review your work.
My suggestions and opinions are offered only in the spirit of helpfulness with no intentions of offense or disrespect of your hard work here.




My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed"