the name of the girl "Lumen" light in Latin language , is a contrast against the dark she first found herself in. the way the girl culled herself in the first paragraph, making herself so small is quite scary. some of your figures are just out of this world - "the smell of wet stone" . i never knew stones have a smell. you use of dialogue put more lucidity to the the story. a short story such as yours that employs dialogue are deeper and more meaningful to understand. a ten year old with a blue black skin. that is almost unimaginable, but considering the type of genre you are writing, it is allowed. there is no race with a blue black skin. in fact, the only person in mytho-history with that description in Krisna in the Bhagavad Gita. nevertheless,you have done a good job. I score you 4.5