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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3632592
Review #3632592
Viewing a review of:
 Tribute to Brian Jacques  [ASR]
A Tribute to the man who created Redwall.
by BIG BAD WOLF is hopping
Review by eyestar~*
In affiliation with WdC SuperPower Reviewers Group  
Rated: ASR | (4.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
Hello BBWolf! Here is a review to celebrate you for your wonderful contribution to "WDC Power Reviewers Holiday Auction!

I recognized this author and thought I would take a peek to see what I could learn. I know a bit of the series from other readers.

A tribute is a wonderful theme to honour one whom you admire! I could feel the sadness as you portray how his "creations" . It is like an obit! I liked how you address him and wish him a good journey! The voice was consistent thoroughout! *Smile*

The repeated first line is very effective, not to mention evocative!

The form is freestyle without rhyme or patterned rhythm and I enjoyed the style of short lines--rather emphatic.

I noticed some punctuation glitches: eg. drop the comma after "missed" in the last verse and drop it after "travel" in the 4th verse so they flow into the next lines. eg. period after "courageous" in the first. etc. Does "riddles " need a capital?

I wonder, if, instead of using the word "evil" twice in one verse , you could find another descriptive for "villains" in the first verse, to add a variety.

I can appreciate the effort it took to get this message into a form but I think you have indeed captured the essence of this author's realm and your admiration of his work! *Star*

eyestar
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   *CheckG* You responded to this review 12/11/2011 @ 10:20am EST
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