Hi Pat,
I read your story, here is my review. You reviewed one of my stories, I'm here to review one of yours.
Please remember, I'm a writer, just like you, and these are only my impressions. My ultimate goal is to be helpful and supportive. Thanks for sharing your work.

OVERALL SENSE: When I was reading this story, I was thinking what a cute children's story until I came to the end. I wish there were more loving families as you just wrote about out in this world of ours. Children need that extra dash of love that his father seemed to have. You got the playfulness of a little girl down and I could just pictrue this scene.

         TITLE: The title, A Father's Love, fits this story beautifully.

         STYLE/VOICE: The style and voice stays strong throughout the story as you follow the two main character in their playfulness, enjoying one another before it's her bedtime.

         SCENE/SETTING: The scene and setting takes place in a home where a father and a daughter playfully play their game.

         CHARACTERS: The main character is a little girl named Janie with her father and mother. It's bedtime and Janie teases her father one more time before he tucks her into bed.

         PLOT: The plot is Janie tugs down her father's hood to get his attention. SHe does this three times before he chases her around the house, saying she deserves a spanking.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING: I found one typing error that I would like to bring to your attention.
her litttle behind as she--little has one more "t" than needed

AREAS FOR IMPROVEMENT: NONE I found this story to be well written.

         LIKES: I liked the love you showed between father and daughter where I could picture the scene. Excellent descriptions and wording that makes that scene work so well.

         DISLIKES: I found nothing to dislike.

FAVORITE LINE(S): “Don't come to me, little girl,” her mother said as she tried to release herself from her daughter's grip on her leg. “You've gotten yourself into trouble.”

COMMENTs: This line is so perfect, it's exactly what my granddaughter does when she teases one time too many. I liked reading this story, showing that home life can be a loving environment without any effort. I hope more people read this because it teaches families to be a family and to be with your child in play. Once again, a good story that touches the heart. Good job! I liked reading this.


Take care now, keep on writing, I’ll keep on reading,
Jeannie