Hi Happy Spring
I read your story, here is my review. Congratulations on your three years with WDC.
Please remember, I'm a writer, just like you, and these are only my impressions. My ultimate goal is to be helpful and supportive. Thanks for sharing your work.

OVERALL SENSE: Twin sisters are always competitive and now that Grammy is in a wheel chair, never to walk again can be hard to take. Every task seems more difficult. But, there is always a silver lining to everything that happens to us and if Grammy looks hard enough, she'll find it. Unfortunately, she hangs on to her anger of what happened and is alienating everyone in her family that is trying to help.

         TITLE: The title, Two Sister, fits the story but doesn't have that come read me appeal to it.

         STYLE/VOICE: The style and voice stays on the personal side of Grammy who definitely doesn't like too much of anything anymore.

         SCENE/SETTING: The scene and setting takes place in Grammy's house as she says good-by to Natalie. She had her sweet little granddaughter over for breakfast, but still isn't happy that nobody is calling or coming to wish her happy birthday.

         CHARACTERS: The main character is Grammy and we had a glimpse of Natalie at the beginning. Her sister Lilly tries to be there for her but feels to blame or blamed for what happened.

         PLOT: The plot is a tradgedy of sorts. A bad accident leads to one of the twin sisters getting insured and now using a wheel chair to get around. She can't get passed the fact that she is stuck and her twin is free to go and do what she wants.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING: I found no errors.

AREAS FOR IMPROVEMENT: NONE

         LIKES: I like the conflict you are showing between these two sister who really have each other. Lily does try to improve the situation but Grammy still plays the blame game.

         DISLIKES: I found nothing to dislike.

FAVORITE LINE(S): I found a few lines that I liked in this short story. I'll do a line by line of the ones I liked and tell you why I feel it added to the story.

          QUOTE HERE She let out a long sigh. Mumbling, she wheeled her way over to the far wall, adorned with pictures on either side of the fireplace.

          My Comment: This is the first sign of Grammy's discontent. She has all these family members but wonders why no one is calling her on her birthday.

          QUOTE HERE The clock chimed and she waited for the silly cuckoo bird to pop out. Her sister had given her that for a wedding present and depending on the day, she could love or hate it.

          My Comment: Why would she hate a gift that her sister gave her? I maybe would become annoyed with it, but hate is a strong word.
Then it's only on a given day that she becomes this way. Her birthday! She feels neglected, but whose fault is it really of why this is happening?

          QUOTE HERE Grammy was as bitter as the day it had happened and many times told Lilly, “It’s easy for you to say. You still have your legs and your freedom.”

          My Comment: These are the lines that didn't draw the twins closer. Grammy became bitter and stayed this way and now she is wondering why nobody is calling.

OVERALL COMMENTs: It's hard to become paralyzed and now have to deal with the consequences. Some people can come out of it and lead a fairly normal life. Other, such as Grammy like to stay bitter to what happen to them. Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece.


Take care now, keep on writing, I’ll keep on reading,
Jeannie
** Image ID #1872670 Unavailable **