Disclaimer: The following words are the opinions and interpretations of only one person. Use what you can and discard the rest.

Theme: You have captured the imaginations of children, both these characters and your readers. For, this is a wonderful beginning to a children's story. Of course, you have also got me curious about the adventure these three are embarking on in the company of a talking chipmunk.

Enjoyment: The awe and wonder these children have for life makes them perfect candidates for this fantasy. The author has chosen to invite them all on a youthful adventure. Children are always a joy to be around, especially when they get excited. This is how the beginning to their story shows promise.

Irony: As they contemplate what to do about the strange things that are going on, the children are at odds with one another and with what they know to be real. Their personalities, sense of adventure and sense of doing what is right all converge. Though they all choose to follow the chipmunk's direction, each has his/her own reasons.

Emotional Reactions: I am happy to read about the playful antics of children in the midst of a natural setting. They bounce off each other with excitement as their senses are stimulated. The countryside teems with life as it is meant to be experienced.

Narration/Dialogue: A third person narrates this tale as an observer. This way, everyone's behavior is scrutinized and enjoyed. However, there are places where the narrator tells what a character is thinking. This is only possible with dialogue that links the reader to what each character is thinking. Here is one example: "The girls thought about that." How can the narrator know what these girls are thinking? No one can read minds. This is what dialogue is for. The writer might want to scan for other places where
dialogue is needed to enhance our character's thoughts.

Scenery: I can visualize the cabin and its surroundings, including wild animals of all kinds. As the fantasy begins, the wildflowers and bushes come to life. The children have discovered magic in this setting. I am curious enough to read Chapter two of this series.

Character Development: The children monopolize the scenes with their exuberance. The grown-ups try to keep control of them with adult supervision, evidenced when Catherine is hesitant to explore further without consulting her parents. Though, they also want their kids to feel free to explore and have a good time. It is a vacation after all. The animals have no fear in the midst of all these people. The writer deserves credit for blending these characters into a family atmosphere.

Suggestions: If the other chapters are as promising as the first, the writer might want to aim for publication. Another suggestion is to keep the children in the forefront of the story. They just might grab all the attention and make this a fun adventure story.

Overall: This is the beginning of a wonderful children's story. All the characters are life-like, including the animals. A cabin surrounded by nature is the perfect setting for this adventure. The concluding paragraphs leave me curious about what happens next. The possibilities are exciting.

Reviewed by frankcraft.



My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .