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 Review #3719587 |
 | Cute Guy Tim  [18+] Never, ever, ever allow yourself to think that things can't get any worse.  |
| (5.0)| ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** This review is part of your anniversary shower from "Invalid Item" !  HAPPY WDC ACCOUNT ANNIVERSARY FROM "Anniversary Reviews"  Hi aralls. This is a review from "Showering Acts of Joy Group" !  After reading "Cute Guy Tim" I have the following comments to offer.  Title:YOUR COMMENTS Cute Guy Tim, caught my eye. However it wwas the discription that pulled me in. What had went wrong?  First Impression: YOUR COMMENTS I was so creeped out by the fact Tim had a picture of his grandmother in her casket.  Flow/ShowingYOUR COMMENTS The flow of this title was great. I did not have to reread lines over again just to understand, I only reread them to let them soak in. Could this man be really that dumb? The show was good as well. In short stories it is hard to do a lot of showing but you did this well in this title.  Suggestions: YOUR COMMENTS I could not find anything that stood out.  Punctuation/Spelling/Grammar: YOUR COMMENTS I could not find anything that stood out. I do want to say I like how well you used punctuation to get this story across.  Things I Like:YOUR COMMENTS I so enjoyed this title. I perfectly good, bad first date story. The image of walking into an apartment full of birds struck a cord with me. I love all animals but I prefer them outside and not inside. I could not even think about how messy Tim's apartment had to be with those birds in it. When they arrived to the art show and it was one that would be fun for me and my girlfriends to go to and joke about, I would have been horrifed to be there on any date. First one would have killed me. I think my favorite lines were once her filter was off and she compaired him to the love child of Dahmer and Manson. I thought I would die laughing. His answer was even better. This is a well written story that I enjoyed way to much. Thank you for writing, posting and allowing me to review it.
My review has been submitted for consideration in "Good Deeds Go Noticed" .Please check out my auction
Have blessed nights and bright mornings. LG back to the writing board  ** Images For Use By Upgraded+ Only ** http://www.Writing.Com/authors/barefoot_gypsy
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You responded to this review 06/28/2012 @ 8:56am EDT