Review of showering acts of joy member to member

Why I chose this piece: Birthday

Overall impression of piece: Great premise, in a Pathological sort of way. I can't say it isn't realistic. I think we have seen this with gang domination and the age of industrial tycoons

Grammatical and spelling errors: After Marcus wondered you have internal dialogue. It should be set off in italics or some other way.

What I liked? Properly rated. I am trying to get used to looking at that. There is a thirst for power that goes beyond what we do with people and things. This reflects that. Good visceral respsonse to the coming of the catastrophe. I think all these together are kind of a matching set. I think this was intentional. This could be brought out more. I think there is a sysnergy there.

What I disliked: I assume a word restiction so obviously take what I say with a grain of salt, or a saltshaker. The entire world faded to black is a bit cliche and could use a little more. If not something like the raddios all became soundless and TV stations black

How the piece made me feel: How much power do we need? I wish I controlled everything until everything becomes a disaster and then, not so much. Maybe you could have the power to the vault was out and he was locked in the vault forever. I think we do get trapped in our own wants and desires.

Hope this helps. Use my ideas as your creativity alchemy deems fitting

Writers write to understand and to be understood. Pass on the gift of review today.

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