Hi LdyPhoenix ! Thank you for allowing me to read your writing. I hope my comments are helpful. However, you are always encouraged to follow your own instincts and always keep writing!

First Impressions:
Nice use of the Seven Deadly Sins prompt. I had a horrible feeling that Lucien would end up Satan (Lucifer), so I was pleasantly surprised that didn't turn out to be the case.

Suggestions:
"When is the bloody thing going to start," he wondered.
Quotation marks are for dialogue. Thoughts are shown either as

When is the bloody thing going to start? he wondered.
or
When is the bloody thing going to start?

The God of War
Which god of War? Ares? Mars? You say "African", but Rome invaded parts of Africa, plus there are hundreds of tribes with their own Gods. Naming him would lend some realism to the story. If it was something Marcus wanted that badly, he would know the whole story behind the mask.

The auction was tight.
I'm not sure what this means. Tightly guarded? Cheap prices? Full of tension?

Spelling/Grammar:
with a few well placed bribes
well-placed

"What is it you Americans say, 'don't count your chickens before they've hatched'," a voice spoke over his shoulder.
This is two sentences. Consider something like
"What is it you Americans say?" a voice spoke over his shoulder. "'Don't count your chickens before they've hatched'?"

What would it be like to have that much power,
The comma should be a question mark.

The ending seemed a bit abrupt. I'd like to see a bit more detail describing the way Marcus felt and reacted when the mask spoke to him.

Legend told the red paint was made from the blood of their victims.
Neat detail!

Ashley

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