*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
BY ONLINE AUTHORS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3728648
Review #3728648
Viewing a review of:
 Chess Pieces   [ASR]
Ever had the urge to tell someone just how you feel? Well you're not the only one. (Short)
by Feeding-on-Fiction
Review of Chess Pieces  
Review by Tiggy
In affiliation with Newbie Help And Support Group  
Rated: ASR | (3.5)
Access:  Public | Hide Review (?)
*BalloonR* Welcome to WDC from "Newbie Welcome Wagon" ! *BalloonR*


Title: Chess Pieces

Author: Feeding-on-Fiction

Type: Short Story


It’s a surprisingly popular theme on WDC, the “I love you, but you don’t notice me” one. The writer builds up this declaration of love and then drops the bomb, that the other person doesn’t know they exist. There is then a quick shift in view by the reader who know where the poem/story is going, for they never end optimistically. With all the sad poems I read, it is surprising that any two people are ever happy together. I suppose that is what makes it worthy to write about, that a positive outcome is so rare.

The item tends to hyperbolize a good bit. Stars become building blocks of the romantic universe and we see desire in a celestial light. Just as we are settling into the sentimentality, the tale shifts, and reality hits us: love is unrequited, and we run for the Kleenex box, and get two, one for the author and one for the reader.

The speaker in this write is sure that she/he needs this untouchable person, and such is desire when it is placed in an untenable situation. Love becomes the object more than the person him/herself. The object to be reached is that desire, it takes on a life of its own.

The writing is good, no noticeable spelling gaffs or egregious grammatical errors, all that speaks well of you as a writer. Sometimes when feeling down, writers let out their feelings, but couldn't care less about typos and such. So that was actually a pleasant surprise.

I don’t know if this is based on experience, if so, you have my empathy and understanding. Even if it is a little bit gratuitous, there is a sadness to the story, for not many of us have hearts of stone.

It’s no use telling you the hurt will lessen, that’s not your interest here. You want to express the pain, maybe so that you can understand it, and the situation. That is understandable. I can only say that I’ve been there, as the majority of us probably have, and that may help knowing you aren’t alone in those feelings.




** Image ID #1829823 Unavailable **
   *CheckG* You responded to this review 07/08/2012 @ 12:55pm EDT
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/my_feedback/action/view/id/3728648