Hi LdyPhoenix
I carefully read your story, here is my M2M anniversary review. Congratulations on your five years with WDC.
Please remember I'm a writer just like you and these are only my impressions. My ultimate goal is to be helpful and supportive. Thanks for sharing your work.



OVERALL SENSE: Greedy people never seem to get punished for wanting it all. They're always the loudest when it comes to something they want.
Marcus, the main character in this story, is an impatient, rich man that will spend any amount of money just to get what he wants. It's almost an obsession with him...He accomplishes what he sets out to do. But to what end...
This story starts out slowly and builds until it reaches a crescendo that has an intriguing ending.

         TITLE: The title, What You Wish For, fits this story really well. I think this is good advice, Watch out for what you wish for, it might not be what you really expected.

         STYLE/VOICE: The style and voice stays strongly with this character, Marcus and it does have a crime gangster element to it.

         SCENE/SETTING: The scene and setting takes place at first at an auction house, then later in Marcus's vault. Adding just another piece to his collection, he wishes he were all powerful just as the mask, The God of War, a great symbol of power.

         CHARACTERS: Marcus is the main character who talks with another rich man named Monteverdi at the auction house.

         PLOT: Marcus has one thing on this mind, to purchase The God of War mask. As he waits impatiently for the auction to begin, he finds out another man in interested in the same item. They verbally discuss the issue back and forth until the auction begins.

GRAMMAR/SPELLING: The grammar and spelling looks correct.

AREAS FOR IMPROVEMENT: NONE

         LIKES: I like how this story reads from beginning to end. It has an air of mystery to it as it made me wonder what the outcome will be when the story climaxed.

         DISLIKES: I didn't find nothing to dislike.

FAVORITE LINE(S): I found a few favorite lines that caught my eye. I'll tell you why I liked them and how it added to the story.

          QUOTE HERE Marcus Weston stood anxiously in the back of the room, waiting for the auction to begin. On the outside he was calm, austere looking in a gray suit. On the inside, however, he shook with tension.

          My Comment: This describes many rich men to a "t". It also warns the reader that he's out to get and nothing will stand in his way. It amazes me how someone wants to have such things in their possession, only to lock it away it away in a vault.

          QUOTE HERE Today was a private auction where the only path to gain admission was through secret invitation. Some of the world's who's who were in attendance, bidding on priceless art pieces that weren't necessarily on sale legally

          My Comment: Of course this auction would have scared many people away that aren't so wealthy. Marcus didn't care, he had his mind set on one item only. The secret invitation and some priceless pieces that aren't legal to sell is the last thing on his mind. Another thing that bothers me about the wealthy, if it's legal or not, they doen't care. They just barrel their way through to accomplish the one thing they're after.

JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION: Being greedy can have consequences attached to it as Marcus found out. A very satisfying ending to a very interesting story. Thanks for sharing this item! I only review things that I enjoy reading and I truly did enjoy this piece.





Take care now, keep on writing, I’ll keep on reading,

Jeannie